SEE YOU IN HELL: Want to see Nancy Pelosi dressed up as Beelzebub? You’re in luck; QubeTV has arrived.
When QubeTV — the video-sharing site “run by conservatives for conservatives” — was launched in April, we were intrigued. Conceived as a rock-ribbed rejoinder to YouTube’s “liberal bias” (after a Michelle Malkin short containing graphic images of Muslim violence was yanked from the site), it was something new and exciting. What sort of reactionary bons mots might one find there?
In the early going, there wasn’t much to see. But recently, faithful users — such as “America Rocks” and “cruel and unusual” — have been rallied, and by now the site is populated with scads of clumsily Photoshopped images and semi-clever clips. It’s everything you could have dreamed of: the racism is thinly veiled, the homophobia vigorous, the jingoism loud and proud. The misspellings plaguing the comments section? Gravy.
One member, whose screen name is “Luke 22:36” — “he that hath a purse, let him take it . . . and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one” — is a master of Terry Gilliam–style animation, manipulating a photo of Nancy Pelosi (gussied up like Beelzebub, natch) to mouth the words “Welcome to Sodom and Gomorrah.” In another masterwork, Harry Belafonte and Danny Glover — who smooched briefly at last year’s BET Humanitarian Awards — sing “It’s Raining Men” like ventriloquist dummies. One viewer’s verdict: “Now that is just plaing [sic] gross! What assholes (liberals).”
Another clip, prefaced with “Meny Iraqis where Harmed during the Making of this Video,” [sic] is a montage of military footage — infrared conflagrations, obliterated Baghdad buildings — all set to a pounding aggro-metal soundtrack. The money shot: a bearded, olive-complexioned face, flattened and disembodied, lying like so much litter on the cracked pavement. Writes one satisfied viewer: “Just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.”
QubeTV is a conservative utopia, where starched-shirt policy lectures about defense spending (courtesy of the Heritage Foundation) share space with derisive Photoshops of Hillary and Rosie; where one can watch grisly footage of terror attacks and honor killings alongside clips of Laura Ingraham pontificating about Sean Penn and family values.
First, it was AM-radio talk and Fox News. Now, with QubeTV — and Conservapedia and GodTube — America’s oppressed right-thinking minority has established a parallel media empire online. Hey, it’s a free country. Which is why I’m gonna go watch that Star Wars/Boogie Nights mash-up over at YouTube.