Maneaters: A history

By PHOENIX STAFF  |  August 2, 2007
e would on steak tartare. Thus — “I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.” insidelecter34802a[1]Hall and Oates’s maneater: She’s a “she-cat tamed by the purr of a jaguar . . . Watch out boy, she’ll chew you up.” listmaneterPiranhas: Amazon waters churn red with the piranhas’ vigorous, maneating kill shake. Though small, their large teeth are tightly packed and blade-like in profile. These fish devour their flesh in swarms, mutilating the body entire.list5187720_piranhas[1]Giant in Jack & the Beanstalk: He’ll grind your bones to make his bread. janckernewell_jackgiant[1]Siberian tigers: A reputation for eating Kansas teens while they pose for class photos, the Siberian tiger is the largest and most menacing tiger subspecies. In Songs of Experience and The Jungle Book the tiger/tiger is an evil, fiery orange creature to be feared. In the real jungle, the Siberian tiger’s length measures meters long. list_tigerfangsWolf in Little Red Riding Hood: Yeah, yeah, everyone knows LLRH is an allegory for sexual awakening (little girls, stay the path, lest you be tricked by a hungry wolf!) Those great, big teeth? All the better to eat you with. listWolf-in-Little-Red-RidiZombies: The typical zombie features bloody fangs, decaying flesh, and long and rotting hair. 28 Days Later or 28 Weeks Later, or Night of the Living Dead, no matter: zombies will one day eat the brains of us all, arms and mouths wide open. inside28-days-later[1]Dingos: Dingos pursue small game including rabbits, rodents, lizards, birds, and the occasional man cub. Yes, the dingoes are after your baby! Quick, bundle the little joy! For (though seemingly cute and cuddly) dingos thirst for ripe manhide. listdingoCyclops: The one-eyed giant in Homer’s Odyssey dashes men on the floor of his cave, then eats them whole, “leaving nothing, entrails, or flesh, or marrow bones.” listcyclopsKomodo Dragons:  Sure, they prefer donkey, goat, deer, and sometimes even little dragons. But Komodos chow down eighty percent of their body weight (that’s 120 pounds of French fries for the average human) and rip their victims into chunks. listkomodo-dragonsPigs in Snatch: Crime boss Brick Top adds a grotesque layer to the maxim that pigs will eat anything when he feeds his horrifying pets the slop of severed remains of murdered enemies. insixekillerpig[1]Ogres: Shrek dumbed down their reputation, but these centuries-old French flesh-eaters also served as inspiration to Tolkein’s bloodthirsty orcs. listogreWater Leaper: A creature from Welsh folklore resembling a large winged frog with the long spiked tail of a snake, the Water Leaper dined on fishermen. listwater-leaperRakshasa: Hindu mythology tells of these supernatural shape-changing spirits that feed on either rotten food or fresh flesh. listRakshasaKiller rabbit: This may look like an ordinary rabbit, but, well, let’s let Tim the Enchanter describe it. “The most foul, cruel, bad-tempered rodent you’ve ever laid eyes on … [it’s] got a vicious streak a mile wide! … Look at the bones!” Arthur and the knights in Monty Python are unimpressed at first. They change their tune when it attacks and they’re forced to fetch the Holy Hand Grenade.insidersabbidrabby
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