Recession busters

By MATT TAIBBI  |  May 14, 2008

We’re talking about one of the best receivers of all time. If Harrison were to be involved in a serious firearm-related crime, it would be a major blow, not just to his career but to the entire league. And while I would normally gloat about the case, Harrison playing for the Peyton Manning Colts and all, I’m hesitating — mainly because we don’t know what happened. Harrison always seemed like a good dude (it’s not his fault he was drafted by Indianapolis). But this?

All we know so far is that there was a shooting by a car wash Harrison owns in North Philly near 25th and Thompson. One man was shot in the hand and a two year old was cut by glass from a shattered windshield. News reports say the gun was a high-caliber weapon owned by Harrison, but no confirmation on that yet. Police questioned Harrison and say he’s currently not a suspect.

The investigation has been slow, but when the smoke clears, we’ll do a bigger write-up. In the meantime, hold the gloating.

When he's not googling "fallin’ Oates" and "Onterrio, Canada," Matt Taibbi writes for Rolling Stone. He can be reached at

| DUI manslaughter | 90
BRADY SMITH (EX-BC) | being a drunken slob of a would-be rapist | 89
BRANDAN WRIGHT (EX-BETHUNE-COOKMAN) | running dude over with an Isuzu for owing him $200 | 89
JEROME MATHIS (TEXANS) | choking pregnant babymama | 75
FABIAN WASHINGTON (RAIDERS) | red marks on girlfriend's neck | 70
AHMAD BROOKS (BENGALS) | punching chick in front of her kids, the asshole | 60
JAMES HARRISON (STEELERS) | punching girlfriend to facilitate a baptism | 60
ANDY CHRISTENSEN (NEBRASKA) | wantonly grabbing unguarded vagina in bar | 55
JEREMY ELDER (EX-ALABAMA) | late-night stickup | 55
CEDRIC WILSON (STEELERS) | punching girlfriend, but not in order to facilitate a baptism | 55
CARL ELLER (EX-VIKINGS) | DUI, tossing cops around like birdseed | 50
ADAM “PACMAN” JONES (TITANS) | being a menace to peaceful strip-club patrons everywhere | 50
MAURICE SIMMONS (USC) | being the wheelman for a Compton armed mugging | 50
SHAWNE WILLIAMS (PACERS) | harboring an accused first-degree murderer | 50
JOHN STEPHENS (EX-PATRIOTS) | sex-assault fugitive | 48
DAVID CORNACCHIA (FLA. EVERBLADES) | mid-flight assault, head-butting bystanders, exposing wine-shrunken wiener | 46
KEITH MCCANTS (EX-ALABAMA) | getting Tasered after hurling pliers and crack pipe at cops | 43
BRANDON PETTIGREW (OKLAHOMA STATE) | elbowing Stillwater’s finest | 42
RIAR GEER (COLORADO) | randomly assaulting two students, being an asshole | 40
JOSH JARBOE (OKLAHOMA) | bringing totally unnecessary .380 handgun to track meet | 40
LYNN KATOA (COLORADO) | campus assault | 40
KEITH MCLEOD (EX-PACERS) | being the latest Pacer alum to discharge a firearm in public | 40
DENNIS RODMAN (EX-BULLS, PISTONS, LAKERS) | It’s just sad; no joke necessary | 38
JORGE REYES AND JOHN WALLACE (OREGON) | being dumbasses and shooting .22 rounds into a neighbor's house | 37
CHRIS HENRY (EX-BENGALS) | getting arrested way too many times | 35
STEFON JACKSON (UTEP) | hindering prosecution; attracting fugitives | 31
SCOTT SPIEZIO (CARDINALS) | flipping a car in the OC, staggering away from the scene, going mental at some random citizen | 31
CHANNING CROWDER (DOLPHINS) | leaving the scene, making good early impression on Bill Parcells | 30
DANIEL GRAHAM (BRONCOS) | ambiguous domestic-violence beef; hit a bedpost | 30
JASON HORTON (MISSOURI) | beating up “kitchen help” | 30
KENTON KEITH (COLTS) | refusing to leave a parking lot because he’s a Colt and doesn't need to listen to anyone | 30
TYRONE NESBY (EX-CLIPPERS) | ginormous child-support debt | 30
DAN ROONEY (STEELERS) | hypocritical defense of girlfriend-punching players, but only the good ones | 30
RICHARD TODD BURGER (EX-JETS) | leg-breaking for Internet gambling site | 28
BRITTON COLQUITT (TENNESSEE) | DUI, hitting a car, hitting tree stump, then walking away from the scene | 28
ONTERRIO SMITH (EX-VIKINGS) | Last stop on the Lawrence Phillips Express | 28
RYAN O'BYRNE (CANADIENS) | stealing a chick’s purse | 27
DONALD STRICKLAND (NINERS) | being belligerent and drunk, getting caught by cops on foot, playing for the Colts at one time | 24
XAVIER HICKS (WASHINGTON STATE) | putting rubbing alcohol in roommate’s contact-lens case| 22
DEMARCUS GRANGER (OKLAHOMA) | stealing winter coat — in Arizona; refusing to appear | 21
RANDY NEWSOM (AKRON AEROS) | sold shares in his future earnings in dicey scheme that Ponzi would have admired | 18
GERALD JONES AND AHMAD PAIGE (TENNESSEE) | Cheech and Chong/Up in Smoke impersonation, while in car | 12
SHAUN WHITE (X-TREME SPORTS) | spraying fire extinguisher, acting like the little douchebag he is | 11
MIKHAIL MARINOVICH (SYRACUSE) | breaking into a school equipment room; adding another arrest to the family ledger | 10
BART OATES (EX-GIANTS) AND KEN DANEYKO (EX-DEVILS) | getting themselves tossed in debtor’s prison | 10
DERRICK JONES (OREGON) | operating a less-than-one-ounce “drug house” | 1
KEVIN FAULK (PATRIOTS) | contributing to the cancer-like misery of Patriots fans | 0.5
BRYAN GRIER (MAINE) | weighing 344 pounds and power-carjacking in New Hampshire | INCOMPLETE (pending psych review)

< prev  1  |  2  | 
Related: Hello, Larry, Surprising, Bad idea jeans, More more >
  Topics: Sports , Business, AFC South Division, Brady Smith,  More more >
| More

Most Popular
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   SPORTS BLOTTER: DOWN, LINEMAN  |  September 01, 2010
    Brace yourselves, because this week we have, hands-down, the best sports-crime story of the year. Are you ready?
    Just a few months ago, Lance Stephenson was looking like basketball's feel-good comeback story.
  •   LET GO, METS  |  August 18, 2010
    As difficult as this summer has been for those of us counted among the Red Sox faithful, let's all agree: it would be a hell of a lot worse to be a New York Mets fan right now.
  •   FOOD FIGHTS  |  August 11, 2010
    At least it wasn't a home invasion.
  •   BUZZER BEATERS  |  August 04, 2010
    This is starting to get creepy.

 See all articles by: MATT TAIBBI