Trouble in Iowa

By MATT TAIBBI  |  June 4, 2008

According to news reports, Schmidtke has received 11 (!!!) citations during the past 18 months, seven of them for moving violations, but some involving controlled substances. Schmidtke was one of the top QB prospects in the country, passing for 37 touchdowns and more than 2700 yards in 2007. He’ll certainly end up somewhere, but as history tells us, these types of arrest-prone prodigies usually don’t make it. The famous University of Miami linebacker recruit Willie Williams, hailed in his high-school years as the next Ray Lewis (in more ways than one), ended up flaming out in college, perhaps exhausted by the double-digit arrests he’d incurred prior to ever playing a college down. We’ll keep an eye on Schmidtke, and see if he ends up a star in the MAC or Conference USA — or skateboarding on meth next to Todd Marinovich.

| rape of an incapacitated person | 90
JIM LEYRITZ (EX-YANKEES) | DUI manslaughter | 90
BRADY SMITH (EX-BC) | being a drunken slob of a would-be rapist | 89
BRANDAN WRIGHT (EX-BETHUNE-COOKMAN) | running dude over with an Isuzu for owing him $200 | 89
RYDELL WOODS (AKRON) | shooting at cops; getting caught with five guns and ski masks | 88
JEROME MATHIS (TEXANS) | choking pregnant babymama | 75
FABIAN WASHINGTON (RAIDERS) | red marks on girlfriend's neck | 70
AHMAD BROOKS (BENGALS) | punching chick in front of her kids, the asshole | 60
CARL ELLER (EX-VIKINGS) | assault, terrorist threats, being a generally dangerous old geezer, driving a motorcycle with busted plates | 60
JAMES HARRISON (STEELERS) | punching girlfriend to facilitate a baptism | 60
ANDY CHRISTENSEN (NEBRASKA) | wantonly grabbing unguarded vagina in bar | 55
JEREMY ELDER (EX-ALABAMA) | late-night stickup | 55
CEDRIC WILSON (STEELERS) | punching girlfriend, but not in order to facilitate a baptism | 55
ADAM "PACMAN" JONES (TITANS) | being a menace to peaceful strip-club patrons everywhere | 50
MAURICE SIMMONS (USC) | being the wheelman for a Compton armed mugging | 50
SHAWNE WILLIAMS (PACERS) | harboring an accused first-degree murderer | 50
JOHN STEPHENS (EX-PATRIOTS) | sex-assault fugitive | 48
DAVID CORNACCHIA (FLA. EVERBLADES) | mid-flight assault, head-butting bystanders, exposing wine-shrunken wiener | 46
KEITH MCCANTS (EX-ALABAMA) | getting Tasered after hurling pliers and crack pipe at cops | 43
BRANDON PETTIGREW (OKLAHOMA STATE) | elbowing Stillwater's finest | 42
RIAR GEER (COLORADO) | randomly assaulting two students, being an asshole | 40
JOSH JARBOE (OKLAHOMA) | bringing totally unnecessary .380 handgun to track meet | 40
LYNN KATOA (COLORADO) | campus assault | 40
KEITH MCLEOD (EX-PACERS) | being the latest Pacer alum to discharge a firearm in public | 40
DENNIS RODMAN (EX-BULLS, PISTONS, LAKERS) | It's just sad; no joke necessary | 38
JORGE REYES AND JOHN WALLACE (OREGON) | being dumbasses and shooting .22 rounds into a neighbor's house | 37
CHRIS HENRY (EX-BENGALS) | getting arrested way too many times | 35
GERALD SMITH (EX–PENN STATE) | being the "G" that sold coke to a narc | 32
STEFON JACKSON (UTEP) | hindering prosecution; attracting fugitives | 31
SCOTT SPIEZIO (CARDINALS) | flipping a car in the OC, staggering away from the scene, going mental at some random citizen | 31
CHANNING CROWDER (DOLPHINS) | leaving the scene, making good early impression on Bill Parcells | 30
DANIEL GRAHAM (BRONCOS) | ambiguous domestic-violence beef; hit a bedpost | 30
JASON HORTON (MISSOURI) | beating up "kitchen help" | 30
KENTON KEITH (COLTS) | refusing to leave a parking lot because he's a Colt and doesn't need to listen to anyone | 30
TYRONE NESBY (EX-CLIPPERS) | ginormous child-support debt | 30
DAN ROONEY (STEELERS) | hypocritical defense of girlfriend-punching players, but only the good ones | 30
RICHARD TODD BURGER (EX-JETS) | leg-breaking for Internet gambling site | 28
BRITTON COLQUITT (TENNESSEE) | DUI, hitting a car, hitting tree stump, then walking away from the scene | 28
ONTERRIO SMITH (EX-VIKINGS) | Last stop on the Lawrence Phillips Express | 28
RYAN O'BYRNE (CANADIENS) | stealing a chick's purse | 27
CALVIN SCHMIDTKE | blowing a promising career before it started | 25
LOFA TATUPU (SEAHAWKS) | your basic DUI | 25
DONALD STRICKLAND (NINERS) | being belligerent and drunk, getting caught by cops on foot, playing for the Colts at one time | 24
XAVIER HICKS (WASHINGTON STATE) | putting rubbing alcohol in roommate's contact-lens case| 22
DEMARCUS GRANGER (OKLAHOMA) | stealing winter coat — in Arizona; refusing to appear | 21
JAMAR HORNSBY (FLORIDA) | buying gas with dead girl's credit card | 21
RANDY NEWSOM (AKRON AEROS) | sold shares in his future earnings in dicey scheme that Ponzi would have admired | 18
GERALD JONES AND AHMAD PAIGE (TENNESSEE) | Cheech and Chong/Up in Smoke impersonation, while in car | 12
SHAUN WHITE (X-TREME SPORTS) | spraying fire extinguisher, acting like the little douchebag he is | 11
MIKHAIL MARINOVICH (SYRACUSE) | breaking into a school equipment room; adding another arrest to the family ledger | 10
BART OATES (EX-GIANTS) AND KEN DANEYKO (EX-DEVILS) | getting themselves tossed in debtor's prison | 10
DERRICK JONES (OREGON) | operating a less-than-one-ounce "drug house" | 1
KEVIN FAULK (PATRIOTS) | contributing to the cancer-like misery of Patriots fans | 0.5
BRYAN GRIER (MAINE) | weighing 344 pounds and power-carjacking in New Hampshire | INCOMPLETE (pending psych review)

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