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You don’t hear this every day
Usually we don’t include fans in this column, but this one was too good to pass up.

Some folks might remember a scandal that developed this past year when New York Jets fans at Giants Stadium created a ritual in which crowds of men would urge female passers-by on a pedestrian ramp to take off their shirts during halftime.

Now we have yet another example of the burgeoning hooliganistic tendencies of American sports fans. Just this past week, a 38-year-old woman and a 26-year-old man, both from Iowa, were arrested for humping each other in a handicapped bathroom stall in the Metrodome during an Iowa-Minnesota college football game. Apparently a crowd gathered to cheer on the action.

It turns out that the woman was married and at the game with her husband, who is now blaming himself for the incident — he says he should have escorted her to the bathroom. Which leads us to make this pronouncement:

Dude, if you have to escort your wife to the bathroom to make sure she doesn’t lay a stranger in the stall while she’s there, you need a new wife. The woman also says the incident has “ruined her life,” as she has lost her job as well. Twenty “dick” points to the guy screwing another guy’s wife in the handicapped stall.

When he’s not googling “Urban decay” and “halftime show,” Matt Taibbi writes for Rolling Stone. He can be reached atm_taibbi@yahoo.com.