So rather than whine about steroids or birth certificates, let's embrace the art of cheating when it comes to the international stage. Juicing? Check. The cream? Perfectly legal. Eye gouges, hair pullings, prosthetic devices, nut crunches, purple nurples? That's right, sweetheart, anything goes in the Games.

Lance Gould can be reached at lgould@phx.com.

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ARTICLES BY LANCE GOULD
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