Sports blotter: Walker wiggle

By MATT TAIBBI  |  January 14, 2009

Last year we had an absolute blizzard of arrests involving college athletes who boosted credit cards and then immediately rushed either online or to some nearby department store to buy stuff. It appears athletes are not aware that there is a Big Magic Computer out there that tells police where and when a stolen credit card is being used.

In this case, Stallworth walked into a Wal-Mart (it’s almost always a Wal-Mart) in Morehead, Kentucky, and bought lots of stuff. The card’s owner noticed the activity and notified the cops, who examined the security footage, saw that the suspect was a prominent, very tall local athlete, and arrested the poor dope. Stallworth was hit with charges of fraudulent use of credit cards over $100, and released on a $500 bond. Then he was almost immediately suspended from the team. I’m reducing the point hit for these crimes because they’re so dumb — give him 10 and let’s move on. Nothing to see here.

Bolt dolt
Vincent Jackson of the San Diego Chargers also got busted for a DUI this past week. While we all hate the Chargers around here, we hate the Colts even more, and therefore will leave this incident alone, given that the Bolts just knocked off the Colts. V-Jax was busted for a DUI in 2006, and was still on probation, so this could be trouble. Until we know more, give him the usual 25 points.

When he’s not googling “Antoine’s walking” and “Maze is dazed,” Matt Taibbi writes for Rolling Stone. He can be reached atm_taibbi@yahoo.com.

2009 LEADER BOARD
NICK HOWARD AND ANDREL JOHNSON (UAM)
| nasty home-invasion case | 65
VINCENT JACKSON (CHARGERS) | drank and drove, torched Patriots for 134 yards and a TD | 25
ANTOINE WALKER (EX-CELTICS) | drank and drove, bad shot selection | 25
ANDRE “BAD MOON” RISON (EX-CHIEFS, FALCONS, PACKERS, ETC.) | public drunkenness | 20
CHARLES BARKLEY (EX-SUNS, SIXERS) | running stop sign in quest of blowjob | 15
MAZE STALLWORTH (MOREHEAD STATE) | another sap caught using stolen credit cards | 10

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