Pat D. parses Starbury

The Phoenix's sports everyman weighs in on the Celtics' newest addition
By PAT D.  |  March 4, 2009

Read "How weird is Stephon Marbury" by Adam Reilly.
Before, the bottom line is it was all about Stephon Marbury: me me me. So everyone thinks he’s a fuckin’ psycho. But he markets a decent sneaker for cheap money for underprivileged kids? That’s a good thing, that’s not a bad thing.

Now, I’m a firm believer that when the coach tells you to get in the game, you get in the fuckin’ game. First of all, I don’t want to be taken out of the fuckin’ game; I want to be on the court all the time. So to me, [refusing to play for the Knicks earlier this year] is a little bit bush league; it’s like Manny getting up last year in the Yankees series, after he sat out the game. He went in as a pinch hitter in the ninth — could have won the game — but took three fuckin’ strikes and went back to the bench, telling management to go fuck themselves. That could be what Marbury was doing in New York. [Knicks Coach Mike] D’Antoni benched him, so now it’s a fuck-you kind of thing: I’m getting big money, I’m the big player, fuck the coach.

The guy hasn’t played basketball in a year, and he definitely wants to be on the basketball court. You never question his numbers. You’re talking Hall-of-Fame numbers: almost 20 points and 8 assists a game. Now, all of a sudden, Boston does the same thing they did last year when they brought in the right pieces to win a championship. This year, they were missing a piece to the puzzle, and that was another point guard. Eddie House doesn’t want to bring the basketball up the court; when he’s in the game, he’s a liability as a point guard.

But now you have Marbury. If this guy plays his fucking role and does what he’s supposed to do — coming off the bench, giving [Rajon] Rondo his relief, putting in a solid 12-15 min. a game —  he makes Eddie House a better player; he makes the Celtics second unit better. But he’s gotta play by our rules. If he plays by our rules, the fuckin’ guy is gonna get a ring, something that’s eluded a lot of players: Charles Barkley, John Stockton, Karl Malone. He is in a great situation right now.

He had a nice game against Indiana, but against Detroit he struggled, so hopefully he goes back into the classroom and learns our system. And now it’s in Doc’s [Coach Doc Rivers’] hands. If he starts acting up, you yank him; you say, ‘Fuck you, go sit on the fuckin’ bench, all right?’ And if he doesn’t come up with the numbers that we expect, and he becomes a liability and a cancer in the locker room — all that shit — you fuckin’ cut him. See you later!

As told to Adam Reilly

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  Topics: Sports , Swearing and Invective, Baseball, Sports,  More more >
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