Strange tales

By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 1, 2009

Hill's off-the-field record, however, is far from unblemished. He was suspended as a freshman for an incident in which he allegedly was "brandishing" a baseball bat during a dorm altercation. Last week, he got popped for a DUI/leaving-the-scene incident, in which he apparently got sauced, drove a car (with a female passenger in it) into a guardrail, panicked, fled, and ultimately had to be arrested at gunpoint.

That arrest took place in Wisconsin. It turns out he's got similar charges — including drunken driving, unreasonable speed, and making unsafe lane changes — pending in a second state, Arizona, where he'd been training for the draft.

Let's just say that when you need a personal assistant to work out the details of DUI arraignments in multiple states less than a month before the draft, you're not doing yourself any favors. Hill was probably looking at a fourth- or fifth-round slot before the latest DUI; he might be heading to the seventh, or undrafted territory, now. Give him a total of 50 points for the double DUI and let's see if he wins himself a job later this month.

When he's not googling "a Pirate's wife for me" and "down, Hill," Matt Taibbi writes for Rolling Stone. He can be reached

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