Two of the three Volunteers — Janzen Jackson, Nu'Keese Richardson, and Mike Edwards — allegedly put on black hoodies, approached three guys sitting in a car in the parking lot of a convenience store, and demanded, with a gun, that they hand over their money. The guys pulled out their wallets and showed they were empty, at which point the third member of the bunch came up and reportedly said, "We've got to go." The three then sped away with a female driver in — wait for it — a Toyota Prius.
Cops quickly pulled over the Prius and found the hoodies, plus a pellet gun, plus some weed in the pocket of the female driver. The three players were charged with attempted armed robbery, and on Monday Kiffin dismissed Richardson and Edwards from the team (Jackson was suspended, pending further investigation). Even though it was a pellet gun, give them 51 points for being dumbasses — when you pull out something that looks like a gun in the South, there's always a chance that someone is going to get shot for real.
Matt Taibbi can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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