Pirates' ransom

By MATT TAIBBI  |  March 24, 2010

Call the cops . . . and the ASPCA
This stuff just doesn’t end. Contemporaneous with the Seton Hall incidents was a case involving a former Coastal Carolina football player named Tyler Campbell, who was arrested last week on an array of felony charges, including — you guessed it — kidnapping.

Details on this one remain fuzzy, but it seems that Campbell was angry at his girlfriend, suspecting her of cheating on him. He went to her home, caused a scene, and broke a bunch of stuff. When the girlfriend called her mother to tell her what happened, he went bonkers and broke more stuff, punched her, grabbed her by the neck, and dragged her back inside the house when she tried to escape. Somewhere in there he must have hurt a pet as well, since he was charged with malicious injury to animals in addition to kidnapping, malicious injury to personal property of a value over $1000 but less than $5000, and assault and battery of a high and aggravated nature. Give him 70 points as well.

Matt Taibbi can be reached at m_taibbi@yahoo.com.

LEADER BOARD
BOGDAN RUDENKO (COLORADO SPRINGS GOLD KINGS) | murder | 90
BRENT VINSON (EX-TENNESSEE) | accessory to murder | 89
MIGUEL STARKS AND REGINALD RICE (THE CITADEL) | Clockwork Orange–style home invasion | 88
ROBERT MITCHELL AND KELLY WHITNEY (EX–SETON HALL) | eight, count ’em eight, counts of kidnapping | 85
TYLER CAMPBELL (COASTAL CAROLINA) | kidnapping, and pet assault | 70
WARREN SAPP (EX-BUCS) | girlfriend-choking | 63
GARY BROWN (FLORIDA) | girl-hitting/scratching | 58
LAMICHAEL JAMES (OREGON) | girlfriend-choking | 58
DEON ANDERSON (COWBOYS) | scary gun-waving incident | 50
GERALD AND BRANDON LAIRD, AND THEIR CRAZY-ASS GRANDPA (TIGERS, YANKEES) | messing with Eddie House's wife, attacking security guards | 48
GILBERT ARENAS (WIZARDS) | fun with guns | 40
CHRIS TERRY (EX-CHIEFS, BENGALS) | a standard "Bulldog" | 35
DUSTY DVORACEK (BEARS) | being a big hulking drunken menace to bouncers | 31
TERRANCE TOLIVER (LSU) | resisting arrest, getting himself Tasered | 31
KIKO ALONSO (OREGON) | DUI; another arrested Duck | 25
CHRIS CHELIOS (CHICAGO WOLVES) | DUI | 25
REY MAUALUGA (BENGALS) | driving drunk en route to teenie ménage a trois | 25
JEREMIAH MASOLI AND GARRETT EMBRY (OREGON) | boosting laptops | 20
GUY MORRISS (TEXAS A&M COMMERCE) | suppressing First Amendment | 19
TERRY GLENN (EX-PATRIOTS) | blew off rental-car bill | 9
CHARLES ROGERS (EX-LIONS) | violated court order by passing out drunk in a plate of Mexican food | 8
COREY STOKES (VILLANOVA) | peeing between cars | 0.43

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