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DAVID THORPE

Latest Articles

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The end that could have been

Three missed Aerosmith break-up opportunities
For a few wonderful days, it seemed that Aerosmith were finally kaput.
By DAVID THORPE  |  November 18, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Another Brown bagged

Plus Stockman sickened, Sublime subpoena'd,
Ian Brown: lady hitter?
By DAVID THORPE  |  November 11, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Liam alone

Can an Oasis spinoff help but suck?
Everyone figured that Noel Gallagher would go solo — it’s been hinted at for years — but the break-up of Oasis has made it a grim inevitability.
By DAVID THORPE  |  November 09, 2009

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The Big Hurt: ''Losing'' news in brief

Aerosmith lose Joe; A-Ha lose everybody; Diddy loses bling; Corgan just loses it
AEROSMITH ’s disastrous summer of canceled tours and geriatric folly has taken its toll on guitarist Joe Perry, who recently told MTV that the band were on “indefinite hiatus” — which is music-industry slang for “I hate Steven Tyler.”
By DAVID THORPE  |  October 27, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Release yo’ delf

The week in horrendous press releases
Every slow pop week has a silver lining: it’s a great chance to catch up on the thrilling world of useless press releases.
By DAVID THORPE  |  October 22, 2009

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The Big Hurt: A healthy death

Music news in brief
A member of the recently reunited BACKSTREET BOYS — the really Christian one who looks like the Beast from that 1980s Beauty and the Beast TV show — has swine flu. That doesn't even come close to being sufficient punishment for his many aesthetic atrocities (which include his face), but it'll do for the moment.
By DAVID THORPE  |  October 13, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Think of England

‘Who Charted?’: The UK edition
Although we like to think of ourselves as having an ironclad hegemony over the pop of the Western world, those plucky Brits like to rise from their misty bog and tweak our nipples with a pond-crossing chart smash once in a while.
By DAVID THORPE  |  October 06, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Season's bleatings

Plus unholy names and office shredders
One of the great things about being in the music industry is that you get to change your name. So why are we hearing records from a guy named Landon Pigg?
By DAVID THORPE  |  September 28, 2009

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The Bigmouth strikes again

Kanye acts like himself; nation loses shit
Given all the conflicting emotions, it was tough to form an opinion on Kanye West's VMA bum rush against Taylor Swift.
By DAVID THORPE  |  September 22, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Attention whoring and headline parsing

Music news in brief
Slow news week.
By DAVID THORPE  |  September 15, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Don't look back in anger

The best of times with the worst of bands
"You don't know what you've got till it's gone," Janet Jackson once famously sampled, and how true it is. Only now that Noel Gallagher has left in a firestorm of brotherly acrimony can I truly take stock of my feelings toward Oasis.
By DAVID THORPE  |  September 08, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Taking on pain, cooling on wangs

Music news in brief
Weezer's forthcoming album will be titled Raditude . I almost want to pep them up: "Come on, Weezer, you're not that bad." But they are.
By DAVID THORPE  |  August 31, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Checking the Billboard Hot 100

Who charted?
As usual, I won't be able to make it through the full 100, but seven is just as good, right?
By DAVID THORPE  |  August 25, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Broken bones and stripper poles

The Big Hurt: Music news in brief
Only a few weeks ago, I was making fun of Aerosmith for their inability to present Aerosmith in their Guitar Hero: Aerosmith Presents Aerosmith tour.
By DAVID THORPE  |  August 18, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Woo ware

This one goes out to all the ladies
A friend of mine offered a suggestion: I should make a ton of money by compiling and selling the most foolproof ladykiller of a romantic mixtape ever conceived.
By DAVID THORPE  |  August 11, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Pop eroticism, faux sincerity, and sperm motility

Music News in Brief
I am a man who loves a good corporate doofus, and this week's glistening-prize-hog-doofus quote goes to TOM WELCH , Wal-Mart's senior music buyer, who manages to make Foreigner sound even squarer than Foreigner.
By DAVID THORPE  |  August 05, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Strung Out

Vitamin Records classes up the joint — kinda
A friend of mine is getting married soon, and she's been looking around for some classy wedding music.
By DAVID THORPE  |  July 29, 2009

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The Big Hurt: MJ murder mystery, Aerosmith injuries

Music News in Brief
Much as I hate to bring up Michael Jackson again, I was intrigued by sister La Toya's allegations that he was knocked off for his publishing assets.
By DAVID THORPE  |  July 22, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Oddest proposal

Music News in Brief
"Wasn't nothing strange about your daddy," said Al Sharpton to Michael Jackson's children. "It was strange what your daddy had to deal with."
By DAVID THORPE  |  July 14, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Michael and Steven, RIP

Music news in brief
Even if I got scooped by everyone else, I believe my inimitable wit will ensure that my reportage goes down in history as the definitive account, so here goes: Michael Jackson died.
By DAVID THORPE  |  July 10, 2009
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