Music Features

The week in boners

By DAVID THORPE | July 28, 2008

Fantastic news for fans of former indie darlings who’ve worn out their welcome with mediocre output and overestimations of their own cleverness: JARVIS COCKER is writing music for a new WES ANDERSON project!

NEIL YOUNG — who previously announced that his long-awaited “Archives” series would be released only on Blu-Ray — has relented. He’ll release it on CD — as long as we all pretend to be really disappointed about the compromise in audio quality. We share your outrage, Neil! I know that when I listen to reproductions of wobbly demos recorded on wax cylinders in 1965, my sophisticated ears demand only the most pristine fidelity allowed by science, so that I might hear every precious flaw.

The lead herb from Canadian pop travesty BARENAKED LADIES has been arrested for cocaine possession and could face 15 years in prison if some heroic judge decides to make an example of him. I urge you to write your elected representatives and demand that they get this menace off our streets. If you think I’m being too hard on him, consider this: you now have the song “One Week” stuck in your head. Enjoy.

And as long as I’m fucking with you, you now have “All Star” by SMASH MOUTH stuck in your head. Better get out the air mattress, too, because it’s gonna be stayin’ a while.

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