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DAVID THORPE

Latest Articles

090717_mj-List

The Big Hurt: Oddest proposal

Music News in Brief
"Wasn't nothing strange about your daddy," said Al Sharpton to Michael Jackson's children. "It was strange what your daddy had to deal with."
By DAVID THORPE  |  July 14, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Michael and Steven, RIP

Music news in brief
Even if I got scooped by everyone else, I believe my inimitable wit will ensure that my reportage goes down in history as the definitive account, so here goes: Michael Jackson died.
By DAVID THORPE  |  July 10, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Bomb squad

This week in optional listening
Plenty of great shit to get excited about this week: new Wilco and Jarvis Cocker, tons of Rolling Stones reissues, a double-disc Jonas Brothers DVD spectacular, and the long-awaited 31st edition of the venerable Now That's What I Call Music! series. But if you happen to have a few bucks left over . . .
By DAVID THORPE  |  June 30, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Durst pantsed, Michaels smooshed

Music news in brief
"This isn't a reunion, this is a comeback," quibbled the red-hatted irrelephant in a BBC interview.
By DAVID THORPE  |  June 23, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Parse and labor

The week in unhelpful headlines
I think music-news headlines are now officially my favorite part of pop music.
By DAVID THORPE  |  June 15, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Pratt falls

Plus Ringo shills, Yanni sucks
Spencer Pratt, one of the vacuous props on MTV's realityesque moron drama The Hills , has his beady eyes set on a rap career.
By DAVID THORPE  |  June 08, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Billboard's Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks

Who charted?
What a lovely concept is mainstream rock : all that subversive stuff was fun for a while, but isn't rock much lovelier now that it's straightened up and joined the hegemony?
By DAVID THORPE  |  June 02, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Wascally wappers

Plus failed massacres and reverse piracy
Lame as Marilyn Manson may be, I wouldn't wish his fans on him if he were my worst enemy.
By DAVID THORPE  |  June 01, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Rock in a hard place

The economy makes music its bitch
Fear not, broke American: the music industry feels your pain.
By DAVID THORPE  |  May 18, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Brand new Dio; same old Yoko; auguries of Creed

Music news in brief
In the process of writing last week's column about hidden Satanic messages in pop music, I listened to a bunch of shit backward and discovered that the track "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga is much, much better that way.
By DAVID THORPE  |  May 12, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Devil music

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When I was around 10 years old, I wandered into a rural flea market and found one of the greatest pieces of music journalism ever written: a forgotten crank masterpiece called Backward Masking Unmasked that had been written in 1983 by Texan minister Jacob Aranza.
By DAVID THORPE  |  May 05, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Jacko solvent! Boyle swelling! Lupus dissed!

MJ's ranch, Hoppus and Wentz on Twitter, and Susan Boyle
If you had your heart set on picking up a gently used chimp tuxedo or a suspicious child skeleton, you're outta luck
By DAVID THORPE  |  April 28, 2009

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The Big Hurt: The week in beef (in brief)

Ross at a loss; Weezy throws hissy
A recessed economy means fewer chains to go around, so it's been a fine week for a-fussin'-and-a-feudin'.
By DAVID THORPE  |  April 21, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Crashing Pumpkins

Plus Lynched Beatles, and a misleading Baby
I recently had the "was that real, or did I dream that?" feeling about the upcoming Spider-Man musical featuring songs by U2, and I happily concluded that it was a dream.
By DAVID THORPE  |  April 13, 2009

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Say what?

The Big Hurt: A chat with Bill Buckholz of UnderstandRap.com
Good news for perplexed suburbanites: a new site called  UnderstandRap.com  lets experienced rap interpreters explain difficult urban slang to hip-hop neophytes.
By DAVID THORPE  |  April 13, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Hootie goes country, Roses stay in denial, Spector gets 'demonic'

Music news in brief
I’m still not used to the idea that Darius Rucker (“Hootie” to you and me) is a chart-topping country superstar now.
By DAVID THORPE  |  March 31, 2009

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'Who Charted'

Billboard's Hot Adult Top 40
Having paid my dues by wading through the alt-rock and godawful-country charts, I've earned the right to tackle the steamy stuff.
By DAVID THORPE  |  March 24, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Weezy goes free, Miley turns bitter, Martin still lame

Music news in brief
The good news: the 2006 drug charges against   Lil Wayne   have been dropped after a judge ruled that the search leading to his arrest wasn't proper.
By DAVID THORPE  |  March 19, 2009

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The Big Hurt: We floss econo

Cleaning up rap's act could equal big savings
You might recall a slew of ominous articles in 2007 proclaiming that hip-hop was through. Sales were way down, and the culprits were clear: jewelry, violence, and naughty dancing.
By DAVID THORPE  |  March 11, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Sub-super supergroups, INXS excess, and unsaved unsavories

Music news in brief
I think we can agree that "supergroups" have a history of underperforming in the superness department.
By DAVID THORPE  |  March 06, 2009
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