Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I’ve recently been introduced to a guy, “Todd.” We attend the same college, and he lives across the street from me. I find Todd very attractive, fun, sincere, and generally likeable. I am attracted to him in every way. Through a number of coincidences, I’ve come to find out that Todd is looking for a relationship — as am I. The things we’re looking for are so similar that it’s unbelievable. Todd, being a transfer student, feels that our campus is frigid, and he is having a hard time meeting people. How do I let him know, without being too forward, that I’m looking for the same things, and that I’d gladly be the one to help him warm this campus up?
_Playing the Same Game
Dear Playing,
Perhaps one of those “coincidences” is also a friend of Todd’s. You could probably wangle another introduction or maybe even arrange to bump into Todd “by accident” and spark up another conversation. You can probably find out what types of activities he enjoys. Try engaging in one of these activities together. This should not be painful or difficult.
Mr. Unavailable
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I have the hugest crush on this guy, and he flirts with me a lot. I’ve asked him out several times, but all he said was that he’d think about it. We talk on the phone a lot, and we seem to have a lot in common. However, he still doesn’t like me. I am not the most beautiful girl in the class, but I do not think he judges beauty. I feel like something is missing in my life, and I think he is that thing. Will you help me get his attention? I want to be more than friends! Please help!
_Lovesick
Dear Lovesick,
If you’ve already suggested that you go out together, you’ve done pretty much all you can do for the moment. It could be that he’s just a pathological flirt and not seriously interested in sparking up a romance with you.
To some extent, everyone “judges beauty.” Some people are more enlightened about this and experience beauty as more than a skin-deep phenomenon. This guy might be an enlightened sort, but perhaps he does not see you as a potential romantic mate. Perhaps he’s very slow moving on this type of thing.
You could always drop your knickers, but Dr. Lovemonkey wouldn’t suggest such a desperate act. It almost always leads to disappointment, it not disaster. Sorry, but there are no surefire ways to build a fire under someone who just isn’t there.
The other canine
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
Is it right or wrong to let your dog sleep in the same bed with you? My girlfriend has a dog and she has always let it sleep in the same bed with her. She also lets her dog eat food right off of her fork! I do not think this is a good idea, but she does not like it when I tell her so.
_Tony
Dear Tony,
Dr. Lovemonkey sees no right or wrong in this situation. People who love their pets have all sort of different ways of caring for them. This is, however, an issue between the two of you, and you have to come to some sort of resolution. It is her dog, so her decisions on how to treat it are her prerogative. If you love her, you have to accept her relationship with the dog. I assume that you’ve discussed this with her, and that she disagrees. Love her and learn to love the dog.
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Dr. Lovemonkey: rudycheeks@prodigy.net
