Call in the lawyers
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I always enjoy your column. In last week’s reply to “Feeling Terrible,” who’s engaged to marry the “man of the house,” you omitted an elegant solution: After the wedding, and after the house is actually deeded to the husband, the husband should go to a lawyer and execute a Quitclaim Deed, changing ownership to the husband and wife jointly. It shouldn’t take more than a few hundred dollars. They can easily afford the fee because their housing cost is almost nothing. The husband’s parents can’t do a thing about it because, legally, once they have given a gift, they have no control over it. If you don’t believe me, ask Jim Dean.
_Myra S.
Dear Myra S.
It’s always nice to hear from folks more conversant than Dr. Lovemonkey with that thing I like to call “the law.” I suspect the Jim Dean that you cite is not the late film star nor the country music/smoked sausage icon, but the Providence-based lawyer who (perhaps you know this) happens to be my brother-in-law. Indeed, that Jim Dean knows what he’s talking about and Dr. Lovemonkey would be a fool to disagree with him. Thanks for the info. I hope “Feeling Terrible” takes notice of your suggestion.
Quagmire time
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I had a very good friend who was married for eight years, with two children, and became involved with another man. She told me what was happening, and I tried to be a good listener and friend. Her husband soon suspected what was going on and moved out of their house for a while. I advised the man she was seeing to end the relationship (and did not mention anything to her husband). The relationship ended, and she’s back with her husband, but she is somehow angry with me. She won’t talk with me, and I hear that she’s spreading unkind rumors about me. Should I confront her and try to find a way back to what was a pretty good friendship?
_Uncertain
Dear Uncertain,
Although you were trying to be a friend, you wound up imposing yourself in your friend’s life, something that is not a wise idea. Indeed, you were trying to do the right thing, but you got sucked into a context of lying and philandering. There is no way one can dive into that muck without coming up smelling badly. But it’s not like this is the end of the world. This woman was obviously bad news, and although it can be sad when a friendship ends, this one was badly tainted. Maybe things will change and you will be able to become friends again, but Dr. Lovemonkey doesn’t see that at this time.
Legal advice
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My daughter’s fiancé is graduating from law school in May. I’m wondering about an appropriate gift. Is money appropriate, and, if so, how much?
_Laurel
Dear Laurel,
Forget about money. Most good lawyers figure out how to get their hands on that sooner or later. You do, however, want to give this relative-to-be something nice, because the new lawyer will presumably be providing you with a lifetime of free legal advice. Dr. Lovemonkey would recommend almost anything made of leather that has no sexual connotation (a briefcase, for example, but not S&M lederhosen).
Send questions and romantic quandaries to rudycheeks@cox.net
