Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
One of my oldest friends is getting married soon and she is having a major party where those invited are expected to bring gifts. I've been discussing this with my boyfriend and he is of the opinion that the gift be something that is useful, like a kitchen appliance or a small piece of furniture. My sense about gifts is that they should be something fun and frivolous, like jewelry. I can see his point, but I'm still inclined to want to get something a bit more fun. Do you have any thoughts on this?
Haven't Bought It Yet
Dear Haven't Bought It Yet,
In this particular case, I'm inclined to agree with your boyfriend. I think gifts that are more in the realm of an extravagance are wonderful for birthdays, holidays, and other occasions. But when a couple is marrying, they are usually starting out with little in the way of housewares and the like. It is generally appropriate to give them gifts that they will be able to use in making a home and a life together. And, even though it's not very romantic, both of the soon-to-be-wed will be able to enjoy a new coffeemaker since, chances are, they don't have the exact same taste in jewelry.
ALL IN THE FAMILY
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My mother and I are very close. She is a very good-looking 38 and I'm 20. She has been going out with this guy for a few months and, recently, we were all sitting around drinking and we got kind of drunk. She went off to her room to lie down for a while and, basically, her boyfriend and I starting messing around. It wasn't long before we were both naked and having sex. My mother finally came out of her room and, though she wasn't around when any of this was going on, I'm pretty certain she knew what was happening. Since then she makes it a point to make sure that I'm around a lot of the time when he's over and she will go to her room for extended periods of time. We have done it again one other time and the problem is that I like it too. What should I do?
A Little Confused
Dear A Little Confused,
Stop it.
NOT THIS MAN'S BEST FRIEND
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
My girlfriend has a big dog that really scares me. She has told me that the dog has never bitten anyone and is very friendly but, as long as I can remember, I have been afraid of dogs. This is becoming a bit of an issue between us because I am reluctant to go to her place because of the dog. She is starting to wonder why I never come around and always insist that we meet at my place or somewhere else. Is there anything that I can do about this?
Dog Fright
Dear Dog Fright,
It sounds like you've never leveled with your girlfriend about your longtime fear of dogs. You should talk to her about it and explain that you are still scared. Perhaps she will leash the dog the next few times you are there so you can get used to her dog and the dog can get used to you. If indeed it is just a big friendly dog, you'll be surprised at how soon you might be able to become friends. This might also go a long way in helping you overcome your fear of dogs. Talk to her about it and take it slow getting closer to the dog.
