Dr. Lovemonkey: Commitment-phobes, rude dudes

Puppy lovin', chicken-chokin', and cougar prowlin'

Dr Love Monkey

Aaaawkward!

JUST FRIENDS? PT. 1

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am a female senior in college and good friends with a guy I've known since high school. He and I have become even closer over the course of our college years. Earlier this semester, we went out for a few drinks and ended up making out back at my apartment. We decided not to talk about it and to pretend that nothing ever happened. A few weeks later, we did the same thing. Our relationship became so awkward that I began to think that it would never recover. Finally it did, but then we ended up sleeping with each other. This time, I insisted we talk about it, and he responded that we should "just be friends." I agreed, and things improved, but then I stayed at his place after drinking with him and his roommates and it happened again. How can I stop without losing my best friend?

Friend with Benefits

Dear Friend,

So, how are those "benefits" working out? Dr. Lovemonkey suspects that there is nothing too beneficial about sexual encounters that are drunken and meaningless. Pursuing romance is a difficult dance. The degree of difficulty exponentially increases when one is trying to be honest and caring but trying to avoid "falling in love." It sounds to Dr. Lovemonkey that you are "up" for falling in love (even if you can't admit it to yourself), but your friend seems more intent on avoiding the messy details of intimacy and love. If he is indeed a close friend, you should be able to discuss this in more depth with him. You need to do this unless you are prepared to live a "hooking up" life, eschewing romance and commitment.

JUST FRIENDS? PT. 2

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

Over this past year, I met a guy through mutual friends and was very attracted to him — not just for his looks, but mostly his great sense of humor and intelligence. Last spring, through a highly embarrassing debacle, three of my friends indicated that I was interested in him and he told them all that it was a "bad idea." However, over the summer we both happened to be living in the same apartment complex in a different state and had the opportunity to really get to know each other. If I thought I was hooked before, I'm really hooked now. He's the most fantastic guy. Now that we're back at school, I rarely get to see him and I think that he's as indifferent (romantically) to me as he was before. So what should I do? Give up? Please don't tell me just to talk it over with him. I can't do that. I'm afraid it will ruin the coolest friendship I ever had with a guy.

C.L.S.

Dear C.L.S.,

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