CANINE CAMERA?
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
This is in response to J.L., the writer whose boyfriend, Bill, would line up his stuffed animal collection whenever they were intimate, and she feels as if they're watching her. One thing she should consider . . . maybe "they" are. What are the chances there might be a hidden camera in one or two (or more) of those pets? And he could either be recording it for future reference (blackmail?) or he could be broadcasting it on the internet as it happens. If I were her, I'd be performing a couple of stuffed-animal necropsies, and soon.
Mark P. in Pawtucket
Dear Mark,
Who would have thought that James J. Angleton, the legendary chief of counter-intelligence for the CIA who "supposedly" died in 1987, is alive and well in Pawtucket? If the "hidden camera" were broadcasting live, one would think that word might have gotten back to J.L. by now. The "future blackmail" scenario is a bit more difficult to suss out. Thanks for injecting a bit of much-needed paranoia to this forum, Mark. This looks like a job for someone on the LaRouche payroll.
WHACK JOB
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I work in a small office and there are a few cubicles. There is a co-worker with a cubicle that is on the other side of a partition from my cubicle. The other two cubicles are for two people who do sales work and are out of the office much of the time. The co-worker has been, to put it delicately, "worshiping at the altar of Onan" on a regular basis. I explained this to the head of the HR department but that person told me that there was "no evidence" and the guy had to be literally caught in the act of whacking off. The HR moron says to go get him if I detect that the zipper's down. I've tried this a few times but he immediately zips up when I leave my cubicle. Should I investigate his wastebasket with latex gloves and tweezers a la CSI?
Grossed Out
Dear Grossed Out,
If you were to do your own "investigative" work on this, I suspect that your boneheaded HR person would then insist that you pony up the $500 or so that it would take to conduct the DNA test to "prove" your co-worker is flogging the dolphin on the job. Go over your HR person's head and report this to a higher authority. This is illegal (the phrases "hostile work environment" and "sexual harassment" come to mind), and the fact that your HR person is asleep at the switch suggests to Dr. Lovemonkey that he should be the next one to clean out his locker and break camp, right on the heels of your co-worker.
THINKING YOUNG
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I am a divorced woman in her late 40s but very youthful looking. Lately, I have been dating and otherwise out there looking for someone. The problem seems to be I am only attracted to men who are 15 or 20 years younger than me. Men my age look so much older than me. They lack in energy. They seem to have little interest in the latest computer games and technology. And sexually . . . no comparison. I often lie about my age so I can get close to younger men, but at least some of the young men I'm with have known my age and have been okay with it. Is it wrong for me to desire younger men?
