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As we hurtled through the Mojave on three flat tires, only the uneasy luck of the damned kept us on the road. The driver, plunging a syringe of liquid marijuana unto his eyeball, narrowly missed a ditch. “That was a close call,” cooed the buxom groupie who had, only seconds earlier, been snorting grains of pure china white out of [YOUR NAME]’s urethra.
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- The Big Hurt: Billboard's Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks
What a lovely concept is mainstream rock : all that subversive stuff was fun for a while, but isn't rock much lovelier now that it's straightened up and joined the hegemony?
- The Big Hurt: A healthy death
A member of the recently reunited BACKSTREET BOYS — the really Christian one who looks like the Beast from that 1980s Beauty and the Beast TV show — has swine flu. That doesn't even come close to being sufficient punishment for his many aesthetic atrocities (which include his face), but it'll do for the moment.
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I should probably explain that this is not the same David Thorpe who recently resigned from a different local newspaper where he wrote a beloved weekly column very, very much like this one.
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A recessed economy means fewer chains to go around, so it's been a fine week for a-fussin'-and-a-feudin'.
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- The Big Hurt: Checking the Billboard Hot 100
As usual, I won't be able to make it through the full 100, but seven is just as good, right?
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You might recall a slew of ominous articles in 2007 proclaiming that hip-hop was through. Sales were way down, and the culprits were clear: jewelry, violence, and naughty dancing.
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I think music-news headlines are now officially my favorite part of pop music.
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The whole Hard Rock enterprise — which started as a café and has since branched out into hotels, casinos, and a vast nationwide network of lame T-shirts — has built great success on the idea of “rock.”
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Topics:
Music Features
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