Has there ever been a bureaucracy more worthless than the NCAA? The whole system is absurd. There should be a minor league that allows guys who don't want to be students to earn a check and go play somewhere; all of this cloak-and-dagger silliness just to let a guy play basketball for a year seems an enormous waste of time. We should let the star quarterback get his money without having to show up for his no-show job at the car dealership, and let the point guard's mom wear a fur coat. Drop this nonsense already. Zero points for Rose, maybe one for Calipari, mainly because he's sort of a dick.
Matt Taibbi can be reached atm_taibbi@yahoo.com.
Related:
Scammer solstice, Blowin' in the wind, Sports blotter: Donte's inferno, More 
- Scammer solstice
It's summertime, and the scammin' is easy. What else can explain the recent appearance of a former NFL player in court to face 22 counts of . . . wait for it . . . mortgage fraud!
- Blowin' in the wind
There's going to be a lot of snickering and chortling this week after former-top-NFL-prospect-turned-galactic-draft-bust Ryan Leaf got arrested on drug and burglary charges.
- Sports blotter: Donte's inferno
Let's just say this right at the outset: Donte Stallworth always seemed like a good dude.
- NFL follies
Not only was Donte Stallworth officially charged with DUI manslaughter, but another former AFC East star, former Buffalo Bill running back Travis Henry, reached a plea agreement on drug charges.
- Cocaine blues
Wow. That's all I can say after seeing the mug shot of former Jacksonville Jaguars star wide receiver Jimmy Smith, busted last week on pot and crack charges.
- The dirty south
Normally, this is the time of year when a lot of pro football players get arrested — the weeks after the draft and before training camp, when new rookies get their first checks and end up blowing them at fancy nightclubs on eight-balls and escorts before driving home with bellies full of Courvoisier.
- Busting Balls: 20 ways to improve sports
College football is stupid. Everybody knows it.
- Cry me an Old Man River
Readers of this column over the past two years (my mom and my Aunt Theresa, mostly) know that I rabidly support my alma mater's basketball team, the University of Memphis Tigers. This past April, our head coach John Calipari relinquished the Tiger reins to take over at Kentucky.
- Barkley edition
Thank you, Charles Barkley. Thank you!
- Far and away
Man, has this been an interesting few weeks in sports crime, featuring some of the weirder cases you'll ever hear about.
- What's in a name?
Hey, look everybody: Dane Cook got arrested!
- Less
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