Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Gee, umm...

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

To paraphrase Don Orsillo, Theo’s back! And he’s back big!

Or not. If the press release is to be believed, he’s back in pretty much the exact same capacity he was when he left. Curious, that.

Hoyer and Cherington knew all along that they were just stopgaps, and they’re happy to see their buddy retake his rightful place at the top of the pecking order. (“Ben and I were not only aware, but also quite hopeful, that this structure could pave the way for Theo’s return. We are thrilled that it has.”)

John Henry says domestic affairs in the house at 4 Yawkey Way are much more serene than they are made to appear from the outside. ("The media has been in much more turmoil over the Red Sox than has been the case internally.") Or maybe they weren’t, but they sure are now. (“This is not the same organization that Theo left. There was enough discord then to give Theo legitimate reasons to move on.”)

Larry Lucchino’s primacy is undiminished (“there never was a power struggle between Larry and Theo.... Larry’s role has not changed at all”). Or maybe it is, a little (“no general manager in baseball could ask for more autonomy than Theo has”).

Tom Werner is all smiles. (“This is a very happy day for Red Sox fans. I have always had great regard for Larry and Theo, but my respect for both of them has significantly increased as I have witnessed them work through issues which have resulted in a strong, shared commitment going forward.”)

And so is Theo. (“I believe that with our new vision in place, with renewed lines of communication, and with a real sense of unity, we have a chance to be a greater organization than we were before. We thank Red Sox Nation for being patient with us, and we promise to work tirelessly, quietly, and in harmony to field clubs that can contend for a World Championship year after year.”)

So the sun is shining and all is right with the world. “Kumbaya” all around. Good. Because frankly I’m sick of talking about this. And unsurprisingly so are they. (“I think we have grown a bit weary of all of the conversation about front office intrigue -- real and imagined. It has almost taken on a melodramatic soap opera quality.”)

We may never know what exactly has gone down in the weeks since that chilly All Hallows Eve, and maybe we shouldn’t.

(One thing I’m curious about. It was reported post-10/31 that he was leaving $4.5 million on the table. How much is he now picking back up off the table? Same? Or more?)

So I’m fine with no press conference. It would only have been the same parade of boilerplate platitudes and gnomic quips that marked the one they held when Theo left. Just more grist for the media mill.

Let’s just get this behind us. For real now. Because right now we’ve got bigger things to worry about.

If Mota’s balky shoulder makes this deal a no-go, or forces the inclusion of another player -- Lil’ Manny? Hyde Park would cry rivers! -- it will be an enormous bummer. Obviously.

I’ve thought a lot about the post I made on Monday, and I’ve reconsidered. If Andy Marte turns into the next Manny Ramirez, losing him will sting, no doubt. But there’s no guarantee that he will. Meanwhile, it’s a pretty sure thing that Coco Crisp, with his speed, an .810 OPS last season, and an adequate arm, will be a more than serviceable replacement for Johnny Judas. He's the best hope we've got. It’s gotta get done.

And he seems like a helluva character, just the most famous in a family of boxers and sprinters and figure skaters and actors and musicians.

All that and he’s a snappy dresser. Knows how to rhyme too. Check out a sample of “We Got That Thing," which was one of only two originals on the Oh Say Can You Sing compilation that came out last spring.

“I sacrifice bunts like burnt offerings.” Genius. Get this guy in the two-hole.

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