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Thursday, August 31, 2006
And things
just keep getting worse.
“Broadway” Charlie
Wagner, the oldest living Red Sox player, the man who intoned “let’s play
ball” at the Red Sox home opener every April, has died at age 93.
BOSTON, MA—Charlie Wagner, who had been with the Boston Red Sox since
1935 in a number of baseball capacities, passed away early Thursday morning of
an apparent heart attack. Mr. Wagner was 93 years old.
The Red Sox
will hold a moment of silence prior to Thursday night’s game at Fenway Park in the memory of Charlie Wagner.
“Charlie
Wagner was a beloved member of the Red Sox organization for more than 70
years,” commented Red Sox President/CEO Larry Lucchino. “As a player,
executive, scout, and coach, his dedication and loyalty to the Red Sox were
unmatched. In recent years, we had been honored with his frequent visits to Fenway Park and looked forward each opening day
to his call of “Play Ball.
“Charlie
was a legend in his hometown of Reading, Pennsylvania, and we share Reading’s loss with his passing. We extend
our deepest sympathies to Charlie’s family on this sad occasion.”
Mr. Wagner
was attending the Reading Phillies-Portland Sea Dogs Eastern League game on
Wednesday night in his hometown of Reading, Pennsylvania when he was stricken. He had
presented the 2006 Reading Phillies Unsung Hero Award in a pre-game ceremony
prior to the game.
Mr. Wagner
had been serving as special Minor League Spring Training consultant for a
number of years. He was honored on opening day of this season at Fenway Park as part of a special tribute to the
1946 American League champion Red Sox.
Signed as a
righthanded pitcher by Boston in 1935, Mr. Wagner made his pro debut with Charlotte in the Class B Piedmont League. He
was promoted to the Red Sox in 1938 and compiled a 32-23 record and 3.91 ERA
over six seasons. The righthander was 12-8 in 1941 and 14-11 in 1942 before
serving in the Navy during World War II from 1943-45. Mr. Wagner returned to
pitch in eight games for Boston in 1946 before injuries ended his
playing career.
Mr. Wagner
was appointed as the Red Sox’ Assistant Farm Director in 1947 and served in
that role for 15 years before becoming a special assignment scout and minor
league pitching instructor for the organization. He also served as Boston’s major league pitching coach under
Eddie Kasko for the 1970 season.
The Red Sox
honored Mr. Wagner in March 1998 by re-naming the entrance-way into the Fort Myers Minor League Complex Charlie Wagner Way.
Born on
December 3, 1912 in Reading, PA, Mr. Wagner is survived by his son Craig
and daughter-in-law Nancy.
A wake will
take place on Tuesday, September 5 from 6:00-9:00 p.m. at the Kuhn Funeral
Home, 739 Penn Ave., West Reading, PA 19611
(610-374-5440). The funeral will be held on Wednesday, September 6 at 11:00
a.m.at the Nativity Lutheran Church, 1501 North 13th St.,
Reading, PA 19604
(610-374-3230).
The family
requests that donations may be made in Charlie Wagner’s memory to the Jimmy Fund.
Big
congrats, Curt. That’s some rarefied company
you’re in. 3003 sure is a big number.
Too bad it’s about the only thing we have to be happy about
these days. I don’t even mind that you didn’t
get the win. Does winning even matter at this point?
This is really getting absurd. What the hell is happening to this team? No one knows yet what Jon Lester’s diagnosis will be,
but the very fact that the C word is being mentioned is deeply troubling, to
say the least. Thoughts and prayers (if that’s your thing) to him
and his family. Please be well, Jon.
Whether Tony Mazz should have screamed
the word in his headline is another story. We know that there are many causes
for enlarged lymph nodes, and count me as one who prefers the much more restrained approach to the story taken
by the Globe.
(Over on Sons of Sam Horn there’s an interesting
discussion about the possible prognosis, and what the media’s
responsibilities are with stories like these.) As mere spectators, there's not much we can do. Except this. Prove that we are the best fans in baseball.
When they
take the field tonight — with
or without David Wells — cheer them long and loud.
They’ve
been playing horribly lately, but they’ve also endured more hardships than any team
should rightfully be expected to soldier through. They deserve our support.
Get
your brainwaves in harmony and your heart rhythms thumping in unison with overflowing
goodwill. Because, as Dr. Eric Leskowitz, co-creator of the forthcoming
documentary The Joy of Sox (a title
obviously thunk up a long time ago), explains:
Invisible forces matter. There’s a lot of research from physics,
electromagnetism, and holistic medicine that invisible forces, or what they
call light energy, is a really important ingredient in human performance.... The
idea that [fans] could influence the game sounds like science fiction or
something. But there’s good research to back this up.
Read all about it here.
These are the times that try men’s souls. But we must
be strong.
Do
not boo this team. Cheer them. They need
our good will. (And, hell, at least your tickets
were cheap, relatively speaking.)
David is
doing fine. Tek and Trot and Gonzo are coming
back soon. It's something, at least.
Let’s win tonight. We need it. For so many reasons.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Monday, August 28, 2006

"Remember, guys. It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game."
There’s a new billboard hanging over Brookline Avenue,
at the mouth of Lansdowne Street.
It depicts David Ortiz, pointing to the sky, pointing
at the camera, flinging his helmet gaily in the air. Above it all, in Red Sox
font: “SO
GOOD! SO GOOD! SO GOOD!”
Would that it were true.
Oh, David
Ortiz is great. He’s having a career year, in fact. The road to 51 rolls
on.
But the 2006 Boston Red Sox aren’t good. No indeed. They’re
terrible
And, not to put a too fine a point on it, they’re fucked.
It’s not just the never-ending spate of injuries. (To
last
week’s long list, you can now also add Wily
Mo, Jon
Lester, and (again) Doug Mirabelli with a jammed ankle.)
Meanwhile, Javy Lopez has somehow transmogrified into
the worst catcher in all of baseball.
Mike Timlin grows more delusional by the day. “I
threw the ball exceptionally well,” he
said Saturday night, after couging up a game-tying homer then a go-ahead
sac fly in a very winnable game. Shut up, Mike. Don’t ruin your great
reputation in this town with a few poorly chosen words. You’re pitching like
dogshit. Admit it. (This
was bad enough.)
Manny’s knees are still in pain.
And the strain is starting to show. “He said he
couldn’t play. What the (expletive) do you want me to do?” snarled the manager.
“If a guy says he can’t play, he can’t (expletive) play. …Go ask him. He said
he can’t (expletive) play.”
Yesterday,
Francona was “coughing up blood and spitting it into a towel while he
answered questions after yesterday's loss. ‘I might have OD'd on my blood
thinners," explained the beleaguered manager. ‘I think I took too much.’”
If that image weren’t so frightening I’d be tempted
to say it’s about as apt a metaphor as possible about the toll this month has
taken on this team.
Poor Tito. What must it be like to have to preside
over a threadbare squad like this? Even worse, it’s a team which seems to be
showing almost no will to win. On the field, these Red Sox look lost. Listless.
Broken.
Bad.
Even our opponents feel bad for us. As one
Seattle columnist put it, "these aren't the Red Sox we know."
Losing balls in the sun. Kicking it
around the infield as if they were Manchester United. Making bad decisions on
the bases. Making worse decisions on defense. Who were those guys?
We’ve been swept
by another cellar dweller. We've become sellers.
David
Ortiz cannot win a World Series all by himself. World Series? Ha.
“At this
rate, the Sox will be lucky to finish with 85 wins.”
It was fun while it lasted.
Just remember to spare a little pity for your poor
neighborhood blogger. As HB reminds us
all: “while the non-blogging fan can just step back from the season, start
looking toward Foxboro and put the Red Sox on the back burnah, we bloggahs
still have to to get up and address the dire situation game aftah game aftah
game.”
It’s no fun.
Friday, August 25, 2006
OK, I’m
feeling little better now.
But, uh, that's sorta more than I
can say for our favorite baseball team, which is starting
to look like a MASH unit.
On top of the guys already
languishing on the DL — Gonzo
with his strained oblique, Trot with the strained biceps and elbow infection, Wake
with his sore ribs (healing a lot slower than anyone would wish), Tek
with a balky knee (can’t
come back soon enough) — now we’ve got Mark
Loretta with his bruised quad, Josh
Beckett with a sliced finger, and Manny
with his tendinitis-which-is-pretty-bad-but-a-whole-lot-better-than-torn-cartilege.
And, ostensibly the least
serious, but at the same time the most frightening, we also learn that Big Papi
spent a night in the hospital during that heart-breaking Yankees series.
(Please, please, please let Tony Mazz be right when he says it was “nothing more than a scare.”) Things are tough all over. But.
Papi
can still can hit.
Wily
Mo’s got a little pop in him too.
Papelbon
seems back to his old nail-spitting self.
Mike
Timlin continues to confound.
But Keith
Foulke is picking up the slack.
And apparently all Josh
Beckett needs to do to be effective is throw caution to the wind, throw the
way he’s always thrown, and ... uh ... open up a big gash on his finger. (Ugh.)
We’ve got
hustle.
And we’ve
still got an ace.
We’re not out of it yet. This team is hurting. If we do somehow manage to grasp and claw our way
into the postseason, it will be a minor miracle. Especially
if Manny misses too much more time.
But we're not the only ones who are banged up.
It can be done. Half the fun is seeing if and how.
Let’s
just be fans. Just sit back and watch. See
what happens.
Monday, August 21, 2006
I wish I
had.
Remember
this:

This is
what rock bottom looks like.
(It’s
blurry because you’re seeing it through my tears.)
The only
way it gets worse is if this
is more serious than it looks.
What a way to waste a gem of a pitching performance. Wow. Have a fun
trip out west, guys. You’ll have lots of time to think about this on the plane.
Me, I’m a little tired.
After last night's colossal gut-punch I was tossing and turning until almost
five a.m., unable to erase Jason
HGHiambi’s gargantuan, profusely pig-sweating gourd from my racing
thoughts. It hovered in my mind, plaguing me like a phantasm, squinting and
twitching that ridiculous half-grown mustache.
So I’ve decided something. I need to take a break
from this team.
I might check Gameday once or twice this
afternoon to see if Boomer
is able to salvage some tiny shred of dignity from this awful, awful, awful
series, but I’m not gonna watch.
I’m afraid Bob
Ryan’s right: “It really doesn't matter what David Wells does today. The
humiliation is complete. The Red Sox are now six games behind the Yankees in
the loss column, so you can forget about the American League East.”
And I don’t think I’m gonna watch much of this long
upcoming West Coast trip, either. Is a team with precisely one
reliable starter, one good
relief pitcher, and two great hitters really worth staying up past 1 a.m.
to watch lose?
It’s just not good for my health. And, frankly, I'm running out of ways to write about about soul-crushing defeats. I was so looking forward to this series. Ticketless,
I traveled south to watch the first three of these five long games in a few of New
York City’s finest Red Sox-friendly public houses.
It didn’t take long to get an idea how things might
go. At 1:17 p.m. on Friday, stuck in Bronx traffic on the bus, I got a text
from my friend Will, who was watching at Professor Thom’s: “This game is
already over.”
Jason
Johnson, who was to be cut loose by the team as soon as he’d finished
throwing himself to the wolves, had allowed a Johnny Damon triple and an RBI
Derek Jeter single right off the bat. Then Bobby Abreu singled. It took 20
pitches for him to record the first out.
Compare that to the bottom of the same inning, when
it took precisely ONE PITCH for Chien-Ming Wang to get an out after Coco
decided to drop a bunt. The fact that the first time a Red Sox bat made contact
with a baseball this series was an unsuccessful bunt attempt tells you pretty
much everything you need to know.
(Coco,
so far, is 1-15 for the series. Says Rotoworld, brutally, “The Red Sox
would have had to overpay to keep Johnny Damon, but they also overpaid to bring
in Crisp, a decision that seems especially costly right now. Giving up Andy
Marte's potential for such an unexceptional player is going to haunt the team
long after Damon's contract expires.”)
Anyway, somehow Johnson got his shit together after
allowing just that one run, turning in three scoreless frames.
Then, an hour or so later, I disembarked at Port Authority Bus Terminal and
headed to the nearest bar, just in time to see him completely implode, giving
up a two-run homer to Damon and two consecutive singles before Kyle Snyder came
on to surrender another run.
It just got worse. By the time I made it to Professor
Thom’s across town, Snyder and Manny Delcarmen had combined to give up another
four runs. Rudy Seanez coughed up another four in the ninth.
We got one back in the bottom of the inning, but
it was far too little, far too late.
Hey, I said to Will, this was the one we expected to
lose, right? Johnson sucks. Chin up, we’ve got another one in less than three hours. The
kid'll make it right. Right?
The $3 Harpoon draughts were flowing freely. The
fried macaroni and cheese was really, really good. And the place was getting
packed for Game Two. People were pumped.
Well...
This one was worse, not least because it looked like we might win it. They led 5-1 after an inning and
a half, but we scored three in the second, and another in the third. They got
two back in the fourth, but we answered right back with two in the bottom of
the inning, then three more in the fifth.
Hey, 10-7! We’re not pitching great, but at least
we’re swinging the bats.
Then, uh, we gave up seven runs in the seventh. Thanks, Mike.
Your middle name is August. Why can't you pitch better in that month? (Karma is a bitch?)
Just when you think this rivalry can’t get more
ridiculous (remember all those records we set back in '04?), it does just that. Four hours and 45 minutes. The longest nine-inning game in history. Following close on the heels of
a day game that was 3:55.
Am I allowed to say that I was quite drunk at this
point?
The teams combined for 41 runs and 61
hits. Twenty pitchers -- that's counting Mike Myers and Scott Proctor twice --
threw 783 pitches. In all, the teams played 8:40 minutes of baseball, from
Jason M. Johnson's first pitch at 1:10 p.m. until Mariano Rivera covered first
to retire Wily Mo Pena at 12:52 a.m.
"We kept looking up and it kept
being the fourth inning. It was nuts," Yankees manager Joe Torre said.
"I'm proud of it, especially in this ballpark, where every game seems like
it's the longest game in history."
"I don't even remember half of
it," said
Derek Jeter.
Uh, yeah. Me neither.
But Saturday, was a new day. The sun shone bright,
and New York City was resplendent.
Little did I know that the sole bright spots of the
day would turn out to be a) the awesome brunch deal at the Hairy Monk (entrée of your choice,
including two drinks, for $10.95!) and b) seeing Peter
Gammons at Fenway.
Josh Beckett? I
don’t wanna talk about it. At
all.
And so on to Sunday night. Schilling
is dealing. We’re up 2-0.
Then, of course, the heavens open up. The deluge arrives, the sky is riven by lightning, and rain
falls in sheets.
So Schilling waits for 57 minutes before venturing
back onto a soggy mound. Suddenly, he’s a little worse for the wear, giving up
two singles and a two-run homer to start off the fourth.
But he calms down. Guts it out, allowing just two
hits the rest of the night as we get three back to take a two run lead.
He tips his cap. Walks into the dugout to loud cheers
from the grateful crowd.
You know
what happens next.
I’m sick of it. I’m sick of this unholy “uber-team,” with their
corporate pinstripes and fascist
moustaches, thoroughly embarrassing us in our own park.
I’m sick of abysmal relief pitching. I’m sick of not
being able to hit with runners in scoring position. I’m sick of Derek Jeter’s fisters
and fist pumps, and Johnny
Damon’s power stroke, and Bobby
Abreu’s OBP. I'm sick of the towering arrogance. (“This ballclub just won't
be denied," says
Ol’ Joe.)
I’m sick of heightened blood pressure and sinking
depression.
I'm sick of losing.
But, hey, don’t blame the Manager of the Year.
Sure, it would have been better if Papelbon had started two innings clean last
night, and if Youk had swung away, and if Kapler
had been playing just a little more shallow.
But by and large, our present
predicament is not Terry Francona’s fault. What does he have to work with?
(At least Hansen’s just
been sent down to the PawSox before he can get any more shell-shocked, thus
possibly harming the "long-term plan.")
Should we blame anyone? Or everyone? We’ve seen the
enemy, and it is us. Unlike ’03 and ’04, this team -- at this point in time, at least -- is just manifestly inferior
to the Yankees. Very. And there’s not a whole lot we can do about it now except, like, play better.
The good news? Theo Epstein, who built this team, expects
us to “storm back” in September. Jeez, I sure hope he’s right. But I
thought he was of a much more rational mind than that.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
OK, now that’s good.
Something to build on, perhaps, and take with us into the weekend?
Thank you, Davids, for pitching
well and hitting
well.
We couldn’t have done it
without you. (Big ups to you, too, Coco
and Craig.)
And
now we’ve got reinforcements.
Welcome
Eric
Hinske.
Welcome
home, Carlos
Pena.
Nice
moves, both. Solid pickups with little downside and plenty of upside. Good depth
for the bench, good back-up for Lowell, Youk, and Pena, good insurance in case
Trot doesn’t come back, and some much-needed lefties for a very right-handed
lineup.
I’d
rather have a pitcher, of course (contrary to what Mike Timlin
might think, we’re not “throwing the ball realy well”) but, hey, this isn’t
a perfect world and you make do with what you have.
Win
this weekend. And again and again. And then once or twice more. We’re not done
yet.
Phoenix cleaning guy Pat D sure as hell
doesn’t think so. YESSAH!
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
“Carlos Guillen,” said
Tigers catcher Vance Wilson, who applied the tag, “is the most alert infielder
I've ever played with.”
Well, good for Carlos
Guillen.
Thus was the wind sucked out
from our sails. We coulda had the bases juiced with one out, with Wily Mo primed to
hit one out.
In the event, we did not.
But
Demarlo Hale is not the problem.
Josh
Beckett is.
Is
he tipping his pitches?
Does he need to learn
another pitch?
Does
he need to grow up?
Or
is he just mediocre?
Either
way, this is getting really, really old. A 5.74 ERA
post All-Star break. A 12.00 ERA in his seven losses. He’s won just a single game
since we inked him to that three year contract extension. When does this
ostensible number-two start putting it together? Do we really have to wait till
next year?
Please
win tonight, Curt.
Thanks in advance, A fan
Monday, August 14, 2006
Not
a bad weekend of baseball, eh? Looks
like that little pep
talk might have actually worked. There was a bit of everything: beanings
and bruisings, errors that ended games and errors that prolonged games when
they should have ended, some big homers and some big pitchers coming up big.
We gave up a lot of runs, sure. But we also scored a lot of runs. In the end,
three different times, that was enough.
We
needed a win Friday
like we hadn’t in a while. Sp we got
things going early. And, of all people, David
Wells rose to the task of making that lead stick, lasting seven strong
frames (about time someone besides Schilling did that) while giving up just a
single measly run.
Kudos, Boomer. I wish I could say I never had a doubt, but that would be very
untrue. Nonetheless I am thrilled to see you back.
I
was in the park on Saturday,
which was about as pleasant a day as can be (sunny, 74 degrees) and a great day to check out the Monster seats for the first time.
It
was ugly at first, though, with Jason Johnson digging us a hole from the get
go. But, piece by piece, we fought our way back. We got one back in the second,
then Johnson gave up three in the third.
Then,
in the fifth, Wilfredo
Modesto Peña launched a towering blast, right ... over ... our ... heads.
It was an astonishing thing to see, screaming right at us, although seemingly
in slo mo, and then arcing above us, clearing Lansdowne Street, and bouncing
off the edge of the garage. Amazing.
If
you don’t believe I was there, just check the tape:

(That’s
me and my girlfriend at the top of the frame, in the black Foulke t-shirt and green Sox cap
respectively, using up precisely one second of our 15 minutes of fame.)
Anyway,
two batters later, Coco
hit one out to center-right to put another run on the boards.
Johnson
got in more trouble in the fifth, loading the bases with a walk and two
singles, before Julian Tavarez came in to relieve him. He got a K looking
before giving both the runs we’d scored right back with a Brian Roberts single.
Groan.
No
matter. Wily Mo wanted to hit
for the cycle. So after Manny walked and Mike Lowell singled, he followed
up the double he hit in the second, and that prodigious homer in the fifth,
with a booming two-run triple to bring us back within two.
(He
never did get that pesky single. So what? If he keeps learning
from his elders, he’ll have many more chances to try again.)
Then
came Doug
Mirabelli. He doesn’t hit all that many homers, but when he does he makes
‘em matter. Kapow. Another one over the Monster. Tie game.
And
so it would stay. Hansen pitched a perfect seventh. Timlin pitched a perfect
eighth.
And
our
boy Papelbon came on to see about exorcising the memories of Kansas City
and keeping the score as-is until the bats could nail down a win.
In
the ninth, Brandon Fahey got a little greedy but was cut down at third trying
to stretch a double into a triple thanks to a bang-bang
play from Manny to Gonzo to Lowell. The crowd held its collective breath,
then erupted in euphoric cheers.
But
in the bottom of the inning, nothing much happened. Mirabelli flew out to left. Gonzalez grounded to short. Coco lined
out to short.
Papelbon
came back out for a perfect 10-pitch tenth.
Then
it was over.
Old
friend Bruce Chen walked Loretta. He walked Ortiz on five pitches. Then Manny
Ramirez laced a single into left to keep his streak alive. Fahey, perhaps remembering
what Manny had done to him the inning before, bobbled the ball, then just held onto
it as pinch-runner Gabe Kapler jogged home to seal Manny’s first walk-off hit
since 2003.
What
a day. What a game. Great seats, gorgeous weather, a walk-off win, even an
extra inning to soak it all in.
My
only complaint? The beers on the Monster aren’t on draught. They’re in cans. No
problem there. But whereas a 16-oz. draught beer in the downstairs concourse costs
$6.50, a 12-oz. can on the Monster is $6.25. My math might be off here, but
seeing how 12 ounces is a good 25 percent less than 16 ounces, the price should
reflect this accordingly, right? Why not $4.88? Hell, I’d even settle for an even five
bucks.
Anyway, on
Sunday,
Jon Lester did what he does. He
labored. Hard.
Luckily,
our offence did not. We scored 11 runs that day, and we’d need almost every one
of them. (No thanks, alas, to Mr. Ramirez. So long,
streak.)
Papelbon
had to work hard for it too. A shame. since he shouldn’t even have had to enter the game. (Thanks, Craig.) But,
excruciating as it was, he got the job done, even if I was watching the last two outs through
parted fingers. When it was finally over, we was as relieved as we were. (Not
so fast, Wilbur. We gotta keep this guy at closer next year. Hansen
isn’t ready, and won’t be by then either. And even though I still wear his t-shirt,
Foulke seems less likely to revert to ’04 form every day. Don't expect to see him on the roster.)
Anyway,
well done, Mikey.
Wow. What a weekend! Beaned on Friday, an amazing, painful looking, dive-into-the-seats catch a
few innings later. Kick off the game with a grand slam on Sunday, then slam the
door shut with an incredible diving grab. (Hearing that David Ortiz use Nelly
Furtado’s “Promiscuous Girl” as his at-bat music on Saturday was great;
Discovering that Lowell uses Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man” was even better.)
It
wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t pretty. But, Bob Ryan reminds us, this
is the way it has to be done.
Yeah,
it was just the lowly O’s. But they played us tough. And I’m inclined to agree
with Red that this was “most cathartic series of the 2006 season.”
So
far.
We’ve
got work to do. One
game back. Not bad. (It could
be a lot worse.)
Just
keep playing like this.
We
need the good
Beckett tonight, to start with, and we’ll go from there.
Friday, August 11, 2006

"I want you to remember that no ball club ever won a World
Series trophy by losing to a team owned by Peter Angelos with Kevin Millar as
their DH.
They won it by making the other poor, dumb bastards lose.
Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about “packing it in”
— that getting swept
by the worst team in baseball and going 1-5
against the two biggest cream-puffs in the American League means the season
is over — is a lot of horse dung. The Red Sox, traditionally, love to fight. Or
at least you should. All real dirt dogs love the sting of battle.
When you were kids you all admired the most powerful
slugger, the most dominant
pitcher, the slickest
fielder. Red Sox fans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. OK, maybe
they will. But not anymore. The Red Sox should play to win all the time. That’s
why we’ve never lost a World Series, at
least not this century, and will never lose another World Series, because
the very thought of losing is hateful to us.
Now, we are a team. We live, eat, sleep, fight as a team. This 25
guys, 25 cabs stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that
stuff about individuality for the Boston Globe don’t know anything more about
real battle than they do about fornicating.
Now we have the finest food, equipment, the best
spirit, and the best men in the world. You know, by God I, I actually pity
those poor bastards we’re going up against, by God, I do. We’re not just going
to sweep the bastards; we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to
dirty up our helmets We’re going to murder those lousy Baltimore bastards by
the bushel.
Now, some of you boys, I know are wondering whether
or not you’ll chicken out under some chin music. Don’t worry about that. I can
assure you that you will all do your duty.
The Orioles are the enemy. Wade into them. Break up
their double plays. Throw high and inside. When you see Kevin Youkilis getting
called out on a borderline strike three by some cretin ump, you’ll
know what to do.
Now there’s another thing I want you to remember: I
don’t want to read any articles tomorrow that we’re losing our division. We’re
not losing anything. Let the Yankees do that. We are advancing constantly and
we’re not interested into holding onto anything except Alex Rodriguez. We’re
going to hold onto him by the nose and we’re going to kick him in the ass. We’re
going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we’re going to go through
him like crap through a goose.
Now, there’s one thing that you men will be able to
say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now
when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and
he asks you what did you do in the 2006 season? You won’t have to say, “Well, I
went golfing in October.”
Alright, now you sons-a-bitches, you know how I feel.
I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle anytime, anywhere. But I
just had arthroscopic surgery so I’ll have to do it from the dugout.
That’s all."
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
I’m running out of ways to
say I’m deeply concerned but not panicking yet.
So corny inspirational bromides will just have to do.
But it’s getting harder and
harder to write posts like these after games
like that.
Could
this be rock bottom?
Bad starting pitching.
Bad relief pitching.
Bad base running.
Bad throwing errors.
An offense that relies far
too much on Dominican
sluggers.
Oh, and more
injuries!
This is no way to win
baseball games. Especially against soft-serve opponents like these.
“We have to win to get
to the playoffs, and we're not playing against a first-place team," said
the man who homered again last night (his 1000th hit) and looks well-paced to set a
record of sorts. "We've got to try to play better. There is a reason
why they are in last place."
Not to, like, hurt the
Royals’ feelings or anything, but he’s not lying.
Hey, at least the Yankees
lost, right? Right?
For all the ledge
jumpers, here are some more trite but true words of wisdom from Eric Mack, in his Sportsline power rankings
(still in fourth place!): “If they can just remind themselves you're never as
good as your highs or as bad as your lows, they'll be fine. If this is really
their low, they're going to be due for some serious high soon.”
And if we needed one more
reminder that hope springs eternal and sometimes good really does triumph over
bad: Gammons
is back on the field. Where he belongs.
Let’s be happy. There’s
another game tonight.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Yes, I am as depressed as
anyone. The past few days have not been kind to this team or its fans.
This
sucks. So
does this. And this.
And
this.
But, as Chad
Finn reminds us, it’s time to take a deep breath and take stock of the
situation. Things are not quite as dire as they might seem. "[A] quick glance at the
standings tells us the Sox are 20 games over .500, two back of the Yankees, a
half-game out in the wild card. In other words, right where we expected them to
be back in Ft. Myers. Don't you know this is how it happens every damn year?
The Sox lead the AL East through much of the summer, the Yankees take it back
late, and then all important matters are settled in the postseason."
This too shall pass.
In the mean time, there are
reasons for hope.
David
Ortiz is a damn good hitter.
So is Manny. (Seth Mnookin
tries to look on the bright side of things here
and here.)
Jason
Johnson might just be coming around.
Maybe — maybe! — Keith
Foulke could end up contributing something.
Mike
Lowell’s on the mend.
And even Dave
Wallace is feel | |