This mental image — courstesy of a poster in this SoSH thread — has had me laughing for the last five minutes or so.

“I wonder why ‘Shrieky’ McBluelips doesn't try to incorporate all three of his famous moves — the ‘Slap,’ the ‘Elbow,’ and now the ‘Shriek’ — into his standard baserunning M.O. Like as soon a ball is in put in play, just start shrieking uncontrollably and slapping and elbowing any defenders in sight. That would be totally cool.”

No dice? Tumbling dice? Dice guys finish last?

Anyway, can’t win ‘em all. Hmm, I’d almost forgotten what it feels like to drop a game.

Just wish it wasn’t Dice-K who was saddled with the loss. I really want him to put up the numbers everyone expects him to. Because I really do think he’s a much, much better pitcher than he’s shown us so far. It’s just that every time out he’s either got a Mulligan inning or he’s puking between innings, or, like last night, he just falls apart in the later innings.

On top of it all, he had some stiff competition.

Did his stomach issues affect his preparatory routine? He says not, but he doesn’t seem the type to make excuses. All we know for sure is that the adjustment is taking longer than we’d like. But he will put it all together for a sustained stretch. Soon. I’m convinced of that. As noted here, a little interleague action might be just what the doctor ordered.

One thing is for sure. I’d rather have him on my team than that gutless punk Alex Rodriguez any day of the week. What a bush league stunt. With yesterday’s back-page splash, you’d think he’d want to draw attention away from himself. But it’s just business as usual for the prideful Yankees.

And anyway, he’ll be getting plenty of attention when he rolls into town tomorrow.

Yow. Quite a game last night, eh? A lot to take in.

First things first: Yeah, Trot was always injured, and he made some incredibly stupid plays — I was there for this — and he was beloved more for his perceived hustle than for his skill. And maybe NESN went a bit overboard. (Although that miked-up bit about Don Orsillo hiding a donut in each cheek was pretty funny.) But, yeah, it was great to see him last night.

And no, I don’t think Schilling “hung that one on purpose.” But, in truth, he probably could have afforded too. Nice game, bloggerman. Let’s hope those shellackings are a thing of the past.

Papelbon had me worried for a while there. That weird play sure made me feel better.

Things are just going our way, I guess.

Youk? He’s really fast. He’s also pretty much Superman right now.

And Manny, after going four for four the other night, hit a homer of the traditional variety. Slump busted?

But, yes, Big Papi is a cause for concern.

And I’m curious to see how Beckett does tonight.

All in all, we've been spoiled.

Win again. Do it for Trot.

Etc.

* Oh my goodness gracious! Clemens is coming back to the New York Yankees! Too late?

(Pedro’s better, anyway. And he’ll be coming back to a first-place team.)

* Sometimes it’s easy to forget just how good Bo Jackson really was.

* Why is Steve Lyons’s B-R page sponsored by Lily Allen?

* Dice-K the album?

Whoever thought this would be a good idea? Something tells me this is not a bunch of covers of Teengenerate and Guitar Wolf. Not unless Charles Steinberg knows the chords to "Kung Fu Ramone Culmination Tactic.” No, this can’t be good at all. (Even if it’s for a good cause.)

That was nice. Back to double digits.

Hope Ma and Pa Pinstripe had fun after Monday’s game, because that little micro-streak is O-V-A. Ovah.

Wild man Jools pitched wildly, but well enough to win.

And Manny hit. Hard.

(Is CHB really trying to suggest he only mashes when his personal Chia-pet is on the mound? Maybe he just likes being back in the old neighborhood. I'll take it anyway we can get, it because he's looked abysmal lately.)

The coulda-been porn star wasn’t the only one with command issues, however.

Papelbon looked distressingly stressed out. In the end, however, he got the job done.

And so did his co-bullpen ace. Even if his ERA is not as razor sharp as it was yesterday.

(Or at least not as sharp as Javier Lopez looked.)

Winning is good. Especially when you have to work at it.

Meanwhile, some questions to ponder while awaiting the rubber match in Da Bronx.

Will Joe Torre ever learn not to bring in Myers to face Ortiz?

Should Youk be going to San Francisco with flowers in his ... uh, beard?

Is Moose’s goose cooked?

How can such a dirty player be held up as such a paragon of virtue? (More fun invective here.)

What if the Texas Con Man gets shelled when he faces the scuffling Portland Sea Dogs tonight?

Really, how sweet would it be to see Clay Bucholz out-duel him?

Will we really win 103 games?

And, finally, will MLB do something about fan behavior at the Toilet?

Fun times. (Audio NSFW.)

I’ve never been to Stade Fasciste. (I suppose I’d like to before the wrecking ball swings at the end of next season — i.e. at the end of September.)

But while Sully and Murph can be boorish with the best of them, I’ve sat in the bleachers at Fenway for several Yankee games, and I’ve never, ever, seen Sox fans act as bad as the MFY cretins in some of the stories from that SoSH thread.

Such clever lyrics. (Again, NSFW.) What charmers, dem Bronx bums.

But they root for players like these. Should we be surprised?

Dunno how I didn't see this little illustrated soliloquy from Colin Cowherd about five months ago, but it's well worth a watch even at this late date.

After last night's gem, let's give thanks for the shrewdness of the Sox brass — and that Dice-K fell for it hook, line and sinker!

[Insert evil laugh here.]

True story: Walking to work yesterday morning across the Mass. Ave. Bridge, the iPod on shuffle, those punchy power chords from the Raspberries’ “Go All the Way” blasted on my headphones just as the CITGO sign and Fenway’s light towers came into view across the Charles.

I didn’t think it at the time, but apparently Eric Carmen’s finest moment was harbinger for what our man from Japan would be doing later that evening.

Still not “give a (expletive) about him" Jim Leyland? Still think he’s just “another pitcher”?

(P.S. his name is not “Matsuki.” Check the spelling on your lineup card.)

Sorry if you’re not impressed, guys.

But I’ll take Dice-K over former Sea Dog Nate Robertson any night of the week.

The complete awesomeness of Gum Time notwithstanding.

No question, these are two fantastic ball clubs.

Tonight? The second best ERA in the AL versus last season’s ROY.

Do good tonight, Wake. Make Mnookin happy.

To crib something I read in the SoSH game thread yesterday: thank you, Sam Perlozzo, for making Mother’s Day joyous for moms all over New England.

Seriously. What on earth was he thinking?

As is our wont, we were all but paralyzed by a rookie pitcher we’d never seen before. Jeremy Guthrie had us lifeless for eight innings and a third.

Then the catcher drops a routine pop fly.

Out comes the hook.

In come two very mediocre relievers.

And — after a double (Ortiz), a single (Pena), a walk (Drew), another walk (Youkilis), another double (Varitek), an intentional walk (Hinske), a fielder’s choice ground out (Cora), and a fielding error by the O’s star-crossed reliever Chris Ray (with help from a bad throw by embedded Red Sox Kevin Millar) — out came the steam shooting from Sam El Bozo’s ears.

The kid was working on a three-hit shutout with a five run lead, one out into the ninth.

And we scored six. With just two outs to work with.

The biggest ninth inning comeback in nine years.

Wow. What a show.

The reviews are in.

It was a big hit in Boston.

“stunning! a holiday treat!”

“fantastic!”

“amazing!”

“a Mother’s Day to remember!”

“my confidence in these guys... is unshakable!”

In Baltimore and the Beltway? Not so much.

“questionable decision”

“Perlozzo spits the bit”

“epic meltdown”

“humiliating”

“eye-popping, heartbreaking, unwatchable”

“worst manager in the majors”

Well, sucks to be them. (Just as it sucks to be the people who left early yesterday — but are probably telling everyone at the office today that they were there.)

We’ll take the Ws wherever we can get ‘em.

Because we’re in for a tough stretch.

Let’s hope Mr. Matsuzaka can start it off right by taming the tigers.

And that Beckett’s hope is not misplaced.

Now that’s more like it.

But Dice-K getting his proverbial shit together was not even the best story of the night.

I used to hate going to Toronto. Really, really hate it. But suddenly I don’t mind it so much.

Why?

Because it’s Bat Country.

Mike Lowell terrorizes Toronto.

Lugo gets off the schneid.

Manny gets locked in. (Having thankfully decided to pop into the office.)

Ortiz — 4 for 5, with a homer and 3 ribbies — is a monster. (And NOT ON STEROIDS).

J.D. Drew? “When it comes, it'll come in a hurry.”

Keep winning, Wake.

Apologies for not checking in for a while. Truth be told, I haven’t had a chance to watch a whole game since, uh, last Thursday.

But I'll be watching tonight. Here’s hoping our $153 million dollar man’s start — sorry, Tomo — is better than his last one, that he can fix whatever he needs to fix and start lowering that bloated ERA.

But I will say this:

Man, is this guy good! I'd rather have a 26-year-old Texan than a 44-year-old Texan any day of the week. (But who wouldn't?)

Corner turned? Corner turned!

And that offense ain’t too shabby neither.

Tek es en fuego. Youk gets on base any way he can. (He has more HBP (five) than homers (three).)

Mike Lowell deserves an extension. (At least until I change my mind in mid-July).

And maybe Dustin Pedroia should be swinging for the fences after all.

“One win right now would do wonders,” Jays manager John Gibbons says.

Don’t give it to ‘em, Dice-K.

What do I think of Roger Clemens?

I think Darkbuster says it best. (MP3...NSFW)

The Yankees were desperate, of course, and they did what they had to do.

And the Texas Con Man did what we all knew he’d do: lunge for as much filthy lucre as his fort-five-year-old hands could grab.

The only thing that’s surprising about this is how fast it all happened.

But here’s the thing: while the Yankees are obviously in much better shape now than they were just a week ago, I’m not so sure this is gonna do the trick.

For one thing, it’s far from certain that that $4.5 million a month is money well-spent — and not just for the reason this guy argues.

Does anyone really think he’ll be lasting seven innings for each of those million-dollar starts? I suppose he might. But I doubt it. Greatly.

He hasn’t pitched in the American League East since the first Bush Administration, and his ERA was 4.35 in 2002, 3.91 in 2003. He was also three years younger then.

I can’t wait to see him lasting five innings per outing, making sure that already overtaxed bullpen gets blown out by late August.

The Red Sox and Blue Jays are going to eat him alive. Or at least one hopes.

Congrats, Roger. Hope your ego is properly stoked and your bank account is full to bursting.

You’re the good guy who wears black, riding in on your high horse to save those pinstriped damsels in distress. An empire turns its lonely eyes to you.

You’re a hero. But not to us.

And I can’t wait to see you fail.

And Timlin is getting old.

That wasn't supposed to happen.

Is he hurt?

Or just human?

An off night?

Or maybe all this hand-wringing was justified?

Tough one. And it’s gonna be tough to wait a game or two to see if he can bounce back.

But ... credit where credit’s due.

At least Curt doesn’t seem too worried that he didn’t go to 4-1.

In the mean time, there’s not much we can do except make Josh Beckett 6-0 tonight.