Apologies for the long interregnum since last post, but, uh, this has been the most boring off-season in recent memory. Also, I’m taking advantage of the lull before the media-mad chaos of Truck Day arrives. (Two weeks and counting!)

In case you haven’t heard:

* Johan Santana is not walking through that door. Fine by me. (Although I reserve the right to change my mind in July, when Schilling’s balky ankle has sent him to his Maynard MMORPG paradise prematurely and permanently, Dice-K is rocking a 5.25 ERA, and Lester’s control problem have returned.)

* Neither, for that matter, is Trot Nixon. And, much as I love him, really, that’s OK.

* The Hall of Fame Game is no more after this year. That sucks. Truly. Would have love to go one of these years. Still kicking myself for missing a golden opportunity in ‘05.

* Also, were you aware? John Burkett “boasts eight perfect games.” Now, you’d be forgiven for questioning the veracity of a statement like this, considering that the Napkin put up a 4.84 ERA in his two seasons here. But of course I’m referring to bowling games. And it’s with great pride that US Bowler has named Burkett — alongside Steelers running back Jerome Bettis, Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas, and others — to its list of “America’s Finest Celebrity Bowlers.” Congrats, buddy. Grady Little may have done his best to prevent you from getting a World Series win in '03, but this must be some small consolation.

* Speaking of Arenas and bowling, Deadspin’s Will Leitch has an amazing anecdote about Agent Zero in his excellent new book, God Save the Fan. Seems that one Wizards fan ran into Arenas one night at a bowling alley, which is awesome in itself. After introducing himself, the fan finds himself invited to bowl a few frames. Doubly awesome. Whadya know, but they hit it off, and Arenas invites the dude and his friends back to his house where they play video games all night. Fuck yeah. I’m gonna start hanging around Lucky Strike more, on the off chance Manny does the same thing. (Read Arenas’s blog here, if you haven’t already.)

* Finally, on a serious note: my sincere condolences to Bob Ryan on the loss of his son. I’ve never met Mr. Ryan, but he’s a truly great writer, with an unabashed passion for sports, and he seems like a helluva guy. I’m really sorry to think what he must be going through right now.