Vermont

Texas

50 Bands 50 States

Utah

Gaza

All-Time Best Band: The Osmonds
All-Time Best Solo Artist: Donny Osmond
Best New Band: Gaza

After ripping off black artists in every conceivable permutation, white people did it yet again when the OSMONDS turned the difficult trick of stealing the “quintet of brothers” concept from the Jackson 5. (Presumably, the Mormon Osmonds and Jehovah’s Witness Jacksons can have a faith-off on Judgment Day — stay tuned!) As pabulum-y as their pop is, it is serviceable enough — and unchallenged, frankly — to capture the Beehive State’s all-time best band title. | Ditto for youngest brother and lead singer DONNY OSMOND, who was known for his purple socks, in the solo category. Given what Mitt Romney exposed us to of Mormon fashion, we can presume Donny also wore (purple?) magic underpants. | By penning such songs as “Slutmaker” and “Hospital Fat Bags,” grindcorists GAZA can successfully lay claim to not only being our favorite Utah flavor of the moment, but also being Utah’s karmic antidote to the Osmonds.

Video: The Osmonds
Video: Donny Osmond

Listen: The Osmonds, "Crazy Horses"

Listen: Donny Osmond, "Puppy Love"

Listen: Gaza, "Calf"

Vermont

Texas

44 of 51

Comments

Re: Utah

I'm pretty sickened here....this guide appears to be a pathetic weekend googling attempt to throw together an entertainment piece. It is apparent that your arts/culture "expert" had spent no more than an hour of time preparing this information. Let's try this, why don't you actually come here to Salt Lake and burst that ever-so-popular bubble that the entire world has surrounded Utah with. There are far more gifted and entertaining musicians here and you need only spend a night at The Depot to see that. Hell, you might even have fun once you realize that we're not all mormons, and those who are happen to be too busy convert you. Next time, try utilizing some journalistic quality and integrity rather than insulting a whole state by saying the best we've got is the "Mormon 5".

By dustyd_64 on 07/02/2008 at 11:55:09

Re: Utah

name  someone else from Utah. donny was banging marie for sure.

By mjlew12 on 07/03/2008 at 11:49:15

Re: Utah

Wow! So glad that you went against "music" prejudice and picked Donny and The Osmonds! Been a fan of theirs fromt the very get go and always will be! Whenever I think of Utah I think of Osmonds!!!

By samthepriest on 07/29/2008 at 3:12:12

Re: Utah

 Sheesh!  What an ignoramus!  First of all, the group wasn't five brothers, it was four.  And, if you've seen any of their recent performances ( such as this entire year of their 50th anniversary tour), you'd know that now they perform with 6 brothers and Marie when they're all together.  Second, Donny isn't the youngest brother --- Jimmy is.  And, he didn't start with  the Osmond brothers --- he joined them when he was 5, and then only occasionally at first.  Third, if you can't find anything better to do with half your article than make fun of the Osmond's religion, you need to get a new occupation. 

By zinnchick on 07/29/2008 at 7:33:34

Dusty you bigot.

Hey Dusty, what's with all the negativity? SLC is the way it is, in big part because of the LDS Church. Don't be an ass. As for you Phoenix, is Gaza really the best you could find? I recommend the following links to anyone interested in finding some really good Utah music: KilbyCourt.com (a local label and venue) myspace.com/bandofannuals myspace.com/devilwhale myspace.com/tolchocktrio also KRCL.org plays some great local artists, and just plain great music in general. Give a listen.

By andym801 on 08/01/2008 at 1:49:20

Add a Comment