Virginia
Truman Sparks
All-Time Best Band: The Neptunes
All-Time Best Solo Artist: Patsy Cline
Best New Band: Truman Sparks
To our knowledge, nobody dislikes the NEPTUNES. (Then again, we don’t really poll joyless buzzkills.) Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo have doubtless already received puh-lenty of blowjobs for revamping Top 40 radio, so suffice it to say, after upping the likes of ODB, LL, JT, and, uh, Robin Thicke, the Neptunes are pop history, whether you like them or not, even though you most likely do. | No one really hates on PATSY CLINE, either — you’d have to be kind of a dick, frankly. Just listen to “Crazy,” where her pretty, milky voice struggles (and succeeds) against the aches in her ribs from the car accident that nearly killed her. Heartbreaking. Even in her apparent plainness, Patsy bestowed country music with a dark, feminine mystique — an impossible mix of the unknowable and the unforgettable. | We’re planning a field trip to Charlottesville to see TRUMAN SPARKS if anyone’s interested. Witty, charming, noisy, agile, smart, and Voidoid-y. We’d probably date them if we didn’t already know what a bad idea dating entire bands is. (See: Annuals, North Carolina.)
Video: The Neptunes
Video: Patsy Cline
Listen: The Neptunes, "Everyone Nose"
Listen: Patsy Cline, "Crazy"
Listen: Truman Sparks, "Sisyphean Task"
