Yes you're talking to the Booty Call Hotline. And no, you may not buy it a fish sandwich, we haven't taught it to taste yet.

The sexual stock market always confused me, thank god this guy knows his stuff.

I guess "no" really does mean "yes" sometimes, at least with this girl.

Can't someone give this birthday-boy some love? Anyone? Bueller?

The Booty Call hotline does not discriminate, even if you're just sitting at home and eating cheez-its.

If you've been finding your weekends a little dull these days, I strongly recommend ripping a page out of this dude's playbook.

ATTN: Booty-Call is NOT an actual person. If your plans for the night were to get drunk, call up "Booty-Call" and ask if you can give "Booty-Call" a "boob rub," please refrain.

If I was a huge douche bag who didn't get any play at "da strip club," the first thing I'd do would be to call Booty-Call to tell them about it, too.

Sifting through the broken pieces of his life, one man finds solace in Boston beer, Boston food, Boston nightlife, and above all, the Boston Harbor(?).

ATTN: Calling Booty-Call will NOT actually get you laid. (I have a sneaking suspicion that by imparting this information the sheer volume of callers to Booty-Call will be DRASTICALLY reduced)

The Playful Misadventures of "The Cod Squad."

It warms my heart to know that despite Americans' increasing lack of trust and respect in our government, such poignant displays of patriotism still exist.

Beers, Bitches, and Bro's

The Portait of a Badass: A Glimpse into a Life so B.A. that it Will Make You Insane with Jealousy

What's the point of hooking up with anyone if you're not going to brag about it? It's just like the whole "If a tree falls in a forest..." saying.