Dear Miss Adventure,

My boyfriend and I are interested in exploring electrical play, but we don't know where to start. Can you help us spark it up? - Sir Watts-His-Name in Winchester

Dear SWHNW,

Miss A would love to help you take charge, but she gets nervous near prongs of any sort. For this high voltage session, you'll want to plug in to the power supply of Master Virage, preeminent shocker of the NYC fetish scene for an answer. He says, "I recommend starting with a simple Violet Wand kit, or one of the inexpensive "boxes" and keep settings low. The top should try the unit out on themselves before using it on anyone else. This is standard policy for me. For newbies, electric play can be a real "trip" and rather than have a terrifyingly bad experience, by keeping levels low, one can see (and feel!) that it can be a fantastic and valuable addition to the erotic tool kit. When you're both ready, the Eros-tek is a marvelous machine, well-made and backed by a terrific warranty!" To find out how to get buzzed with the Master himself, go to www.mastervirage.com.

Dear Miss Adventure,

I am having a hard time convincing my friends that they need to adhere to the dress codes when we go out.  Can you make them behave? - Donatella in Furs in Fall River

Dear DFFR,

I share your pain.  Recently, on the eve of getting ready to meet at a nightclub, my clueless friend asked me if it would be "OK" to wear khakis -or would everyone think he was an old man?  To which I replied, "Yes, people will think you are an old man -at home, in your underwear, watching T.V- because they didn't let you in."  We asked Michael DiCarlo, prince promoter of the Boston kink scene to clarify why it's so important to come out of the closet with your best on.  He said, "What makes a great fetish night is when everyone dresses up.  There's a quote I love, ‘It doesn't matter who you are or how much money you have, you are only judged here by how you dress.'  We do not allow people in on fetish night that are not, at least, dressed all in black.  We want to create a very comfortable and safe environment for everyone. It's about building a tight-knit community."  Check out Sinomatic, Boston's premier fetish event every third Saturday at Machine or go to http://www.sinomatic.net/.  And leave the chinos at home.

Dear Miss Adventure,

I'm interested in applying for the next Miss Rubber World competition. What are some qualities a real rubber diva should possess? -Gummi Goddess in Gloucester

Dear GGG,

While Miss A would love to help you, she can barely peal off her bathing cap at the community pool without yanking out all the hairs from her pretty little head. Someone who can swing in and out of rubber ensembles with the greatest of ease is BDebauchery, lovely local fetish model, performer and first-time participant in the Miss Rubber World 2009 contest held in New York City. We asked her what she thought made for a winning attitude, she said, "Even though I am at the beginning of my career as a rubber model, one thing I can say, for sure, is that you have to have a passion for latex. It has to be something you love 365 days a year. I can just look at someone and tell if they're not really into it. If you are, there's something in your eyes and the judges, the audience can see that." Check out Bdebauchery's elastic talent at http://www.bdebauchery.com/ and good luck!

You and your twisted spirit are cordially invited to Sacred Eros, a monthly discussion group led by Desmond Ravenstone, local author, libertine and lay minister, who explores the connections between divinity and debauchery. Held deep inside historic Arlington Street Church, the group is open to all comers (pardon the pun!) “Our mission,” Ravenstone explains, “is to provide a safe and supportive space to explore questions about sexuality from a spiritual and ethical perspective. This month’s discussion will focus on kink – what is it, why are some drawn to it, what are its spiritual aspects, and what can vanilla people learn from their kinky neighbors.” Bring your own questions, ideas, and munchies to share on Thursday, April 30th at Arlington Street Church, 351 Boylston Street, Boston at 7p.m.. For more information email desmondravenstone@yahoo.com

Dear Miss Adventure,

My partner and I are looking for something or someone(s) unusual to do in the warmer months to come.  Where would you send us? - Freak Range Spring Chickens in Salisbury

Dear FRSCS,

Some folks enjoy working out their kinks with yoga-packed weekends at Kripalu. For those of you in search of your "other" edge, try the poses they have in store for you at the oldest running BDSM chateau in the world.  Tucked into upstate New York, resides Master R, distinguished owner, author and dedicated libertine and his infamous estate where the crème of the fetish scene play.  He says, "The La Domaine Esemar 2009 Couples Party season starts April 25^th with Mistress Nona.  A professional dominatrix for more than two decades, this extremely knowledgeable Domina will be making her second appearance as a La D Guest Mistress.  Nona is an exceptional sadist and this will be an opening party for our most sado-masochistic couples.  We hope to see as many of you as possible for our first bon soiree of 2009!"  La D even offers babysitting services, literally.  For real babies.  Check in at http://www.ladomaine.com/.

Dear Miss Adventure,

I'm looking for a venue where I can dress up sexy and sing a little karaoke.  Most places that offer karaoke are just regular bars, I want something special.  Do you know anyplace I can freak out and belt it out at the same time? - High Note Hitting Diva in Dedham

Dear HNHDD,

Glad you asked. It's been a while since Miss A thrilled the drunken masses at a local townie wateringhole with her stirring rendition of 70s songbird Helen Ready's "Delta Dawn."  For you, we recommend carrying your tune over to DJ Paulie and his next "Boston Rock Fetish Nite."  Here, he sings its praises, "Come help us kick off the first fetish karaoke night ever!!  Rock out with me and the intoxicating Lady Venom as we take over Castillo's Night Club in Everett. We've created this venue for people who are looking for a much more exciting event than your average dance club.  This night is designed for you to DRESS LIKE A ROCK STAR AND PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR!!!   We'll have the best of timeless hard rock with artists such as Motley Crew, Guns ‘n' Roses, AC/DC, The Cars, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ozzy and more!  The best part of this line-up is that EVERYONE will know the music.  You can't help but get pumped up!"  He's right.  Dress code is strict to ensure everyone has a hot, glamorous, rockin' time.  Think leather, PVC, latex, goth, or all black (but we know you can do better).  Mark your calendars for Friday, April 3^rd.  Doors open at 9 p.m.. Castillo's is located at 355 Ferry Street in Everett, MA.  $10 cover, 21+.  For more information, check out www.myspace.com/fetishrockdj.

Dear Miss Adventure,

I love to worship feet.  Can you tell me when is the next foot event in the New England area? - Arch Man in Ashaway

Dear AMA,

Miss A is still savoring a scrumptious pedicure from a marvelous morsel of a houseboy.  Not since Dr. Scholl has her feet felt so joyous, so now she can't wait to jump up and spread the news about how you, too, can pamper some tootsies.  The next Foot Night New England event, Spring Sandal Celebration, is coming up soon.  A testimonial from a satisfied customer says it all.  Here, "Sheldon", long-time foot-lover, tells us what makes it worth getting on your knees to play This Little Piggy, "This party is definitely my favorite.  Both because it lasted 10 hours for me and in that I tried some things I'd been too shy to do before.  And I've been attending Princess Kali's parties off-and-on for almost four years now.  There's always something new to try, and new ladies to try it with."  Hurry because  registration for Spring Sandal Celebration closes Saturday, March 21^st.  Check out http://www.footnight.com/ and get ready to get down with some shapely digits.

Dear Miss Adventure,

My partner and I have been playing rough lately and I have a doctor's appointment coming up. I'm nervous as hell she'll see what we've been doing. What do I do? -Open Wide and Say What?! in Watertown

Dear OWSWW,

MAC doesn't make a makeup thick enough to cover a tanned hide, it's true. What you really need is a big dose of advice from Dr. Irv, who we met at the Fetish Fair Fleamarket(tm), and whose bedside manner extends to the dungeon. He suggests, "We should all have a primary care physician (PCP). If you seek a PCP and you are into kink, have that discussion with your physician early in the process to insure treatment in a safe and confidential environment. Do not think that physicians cannot see the signs of play on our bodies, even the internal ones. If your physician can't do that, seek another physician. Many patients find they cannot afford private primary care. I suggest investigating the FQHC or RHC (Federally Qualified Health Center or Rural Health Center) system. You can find a listing of Community Health Centers by accessing http://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/.  Most PCPs will accept your kink without a blink, otherwise thank them and tell them you are seeking someone else who can care for you."

Dear Miss Adventure,

I am interested in learning rope bondage.  Any place in the Boston area I can get instructions? - Tangled Up in Beantown

Dear TUB,

We'd love to help, but Miss A can just about get her Nikes tied some days.  Someone who does know his knots, the aptly named, RopeRider, can help you get into the fray.  A local fetish and fine art erotica photographer who discovered a passion for Japanese-style rope bondage during a photo shoot, RopeRider is the organizer of Bound in Boston.  Here's what he told us, "Based in the Japanese traditions of erotic bondage, the "Bound In Boston" rope bondage workshop will teach you pleasurable, safe and beautiful ways to use rope in your sex play.  Beginners and experienced, singles and couples - all are welcome.  If you've experimented with rope bondage, but are bored with the same knots and positions, this next work shop is for you."  Find out for yourself, Sunday, March 15th at 5:00 p.m. in Waltham, MA.  Check out their website at http://www.boundinboston.com/ for more information.

Dear Miss Adventure,

I am thinking about asking my boyfriend to be in a poly-amorous relationship, can you recommend any ways to bring up the topic? - Three's Company in Cohasset

Dear TCC,

Once, Miss Adventure was making her way through a bedside copy of sex guru Tristan Taormino's excellent book "Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships." But Mr. Adventure got so agitated, we thought better of it and switched back to our yoga magazine. Don't let this stop you from exploring the new math of modern love. Here's what Taormino says about her reader response so far, "The feedback has been mostly positive. One amazing thing is that I've gotten e-mails and reviews from mostly monogamous people. People who came to it thinking, ‘This isn't about me. I'm not going to learn anything, in fact, I'm going to feel insulted.' And they found all this information about relationships that resonated with their own lives. To me, that's what brings the book to a different level. That it's not just about open relationships, but about relationships in general and what skills you need to make them work." Now you try with better results.

Dear Miss Adventure,

I'm new to the east coast, what are some BDSM social clubs I should know about? - Fresh Meat From Minnesota

Dear FMM,

At least you won't be making any smart aleck remarks about the cold. Miss Adventure turns you over to the kinky welcome wagon of New England D/s. Here creator, Derek, tells how it got started, "For as long as I can remember, I've had kinky tendencies. It wasn't until I bought my first pc that I began to understand that I wasn't alone. I tried to seek out others from my area but it proved a challenge. In 2005, New England D/s was born. Finally, a place to connect with others in the area. A place to share ideas, to learn about local happenings. A place to simply be yourself! Bringing people together... that's what New England D/s is all about! Three years old and we're the best local group on the web with over 1,500 members. Along with daily on-line discussions, we host a weekly chat and a BBQ in in August. Plus, there's our special "Meet & Greet" as part of Birds of a Feather (BoF) during New England Leather Alliance's upcoming Fetish Fair Fleamarket. In January, we started a munch in Providence, Rhode Island. We are a very friendly welcoming bunch!" Check them out at groups.yahoo.com/group/NewEnglandDs; groups.myspace.com/NewEnglandDs or fetlife.com/groups/1273

Dear Miss Adventure,

I've been hearing and reading all the hype about the upcoming Fetish Fair Fleamarket ^TM in Providence, RI the week of Valentine's Day, but I'm a still little apprehensive since I'm new to all this.  Is it for someone like me? - Story of OMG!

Dear SO!

Oh please, don't ask us.  We've attended so many of these fantastically sexy and informative things; we're more jaded than a jewelry store in Chinatown.   For the real 411, let's check in with erotic mega event founder and creator, Cecilia Tan, who will put you newbies at ease about the Flea.  "The Fetish Fair Fleamarket is a great way to get an idea of all the things that are out there. So many people want to try a little kink, maybe just a little bondage or spanking, but if you don't know what you're doing or where to start it can be kind of intimidating. At the FFF, people who are just starting out can shop around, take some classes, and get some ideas and maybe even figure out what they really like before they try anything.  And then lots of people keep coming back year after year. For only $20 admission you get as much as what some leather conventions charge $200 per person for."  For more information go to http://www.fetishfairfleamarket.com and www.myspace.com/fetishfairfleamarket.

Dear Miss Adventure,

I was bitterly disappointed with S. Claus' offering of literature this year. Can you please recommend some new titles for bedtime reading? There is no way I'm going to be nice until next Christmas. -Sticky Pages in Pawtucket

Dear SPP,

We know just what you mean when we think about unwrapping yet another copy of Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point. Tip already. We get it! What you need is something hot off the presses, we recommend award-winning journalist Daniel Bergner's latest offering, Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing, (HarperCollins), an in-depth look at the lives of four erotically ‘out-there' individuals. Author of The New York Times Notable Book of the Year, God of the Rodeo, Bergner turns his pen and insight to exposing these unusual people among us and their unique desires. He notes, "Why did I decide to write about a traveling salesman with an insatiable foot fetish? A clothing designer who is an evangelical sadist? An advertising executive who casts conventionally beautiful models in his ad campaigns but longs for women who are amputees? I'll just say that through these narratives I was writing about states of erotic wanting. They were living out dramatic versions of the lives we all live, whether we keep our sexual longing locked beneath consciousness or dwell on it every day. I was driven to tell their stories because I felt that I - that we - are unmistakable in them. Freud has fallen out of favor, but he knew something we've all got to reckon with: the erotic is a force lodged inescapably inside us. This book was my way of tunneling inward and gazing at that force." Find someone new in these stories or see a reflection of yourself. Hear Daniel Bergner read from his new work Wednesday, February 3rd at 7p.m. at the Harvard Bookstore, 1256 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA.