The Steamy Bohemians

Your tango skills are so hot that you got cast on Dancing with the Stars. Who’s your celebrity partner?
David Bowie exactly as he was in Labyrinth. Wait — do we have to share? In that case we’d have to get both our heads fused onto Jennifer Connelly’s 13-year-old body. We can’t believe she chose her baby brother over David’s Bowie.

It’s almost time to start holiday shopping! Which body part are you going to sell so you can buy your family a lot of shit that they don’t need?
The one that smells.

This past Halloween, I forgot to buy candy, so I just sat in my house in the dark while relentless little kids rang my doorbell. Who’s a bigger asshole: me or the shitmonger who egged my front door?
Candy manufacturers are the asshole, squeezing out delicious, diabetes-promoting, mind-controlling poo. We just gave the kids their first drag off a cigarette. Now you’re a real dragon, little Jenny!

Worst smell in the world?
Kids. They smell like Doritos and feet.

The Steamy Bohemians | Ralph’s Diner, Worcester | November 16 | 508.753.9543