Back in 2007 I saw a band named Antiques play P.A.’s Lounge in Somerville. At that show, the only people to show up were me, my four friends, and maybe two other people. It’s not exactly an anomaly for a band to find themselves playing to an empty room at that place. But in this situation it was so painfully obvious to everyone in attendance that this band clearly should have been playing to a packed club and not six clowns such as ourselves. They were that good. So then and there I decided that I had to write an article about them, one that would put these boys into the spotlight they so richly deserved. And I did. The article was called “Dynamic Duo” and it was in the “Music and Clubs” section of the paper. It, of course, made the band stars, just as Jon Landau’s piece in The Real Paper (!) catapulted Bruce Springsteen to stardom back in ‘74. Now the Antiques name is familiar in every living room across this fine nation. And as a result, the two main members of the band, drummer Tim Griffiths and singer/guitarist Steve Vallarelli, have a huge house out in Northern California right next to Tom Waits’s abode, where they have since taken to filming a reality show, about what it’s like for two bandmates to live and make music together, with Tom Waits as their neighbor. The conceit is not all that interesting right off. The juicy bit is this: Steve is married and his wife lives with them! It’s really kooky, take my word. Sometimes they invite me out to Cali to have a smoke and a chat. They of course pay for my plane ticket. It’s very nice, indeed.

Everything that comes after the word “It” in the eighth sentence of that last graph is false. But in a decent world, it would all be true, except for the reality show part, which was me going a little overboard. What happened after the article ran is much more mundane, but that’s okay. The bandmembers are still in Massachusetts, living in the same houses they were living when I met them, as far as I know. Steve is still in law school, as far as I know. There is no reality show, as far as I know. And the band is still killing it in the same clubs they were killing it in last year, that much I know for sure.

We recently chatted with Tim Griffiths by phone, who was in Michigan visiting his dad, about a show the band is playing on Monday night at Charlie's Kitchen and a new album coming out called No Fortune.

At dinner before Jim Norton’s Saturday nightcap at The Comedy Connection’s Wilbur Theatre, I commented: “I want to sit like Lincoln.” For anyone unfamiliar with where the 16th president was assassinated, I meant I wanted balcony seats. No shit – I really said that.

This was a passing hope; I’ve never in my life been blessed with such exalted digs, and I didn’t expect this time to differ.

"I believe that all women have the right to kiss my ring."

I gagged over a Page One story in The Globe this morning about Cardinal-Archbishop Sean O’Malley and his stubborn pro-life views. Apparently, he’s excited about Obama but worried that the president-elect will open drive-thru abortion clinics at all major intersections.

My friends joke that if I don’t learn to chill I’ll wind up old and cranky like Andy Rooney. In fear that I’m headed for a stroke before my 30th birthday, they’ve tried everything from recommending yoga to giving me a weeklong stress retreat for Christmas (thanks mom!).

Nothing works, and one reason is that I want to be like Andy Rooney (minus the eyebrows).