Cutie tootie.

Samatha Who cares? I do, a little. Christina Applegate is hard not to like, concussed and cuuute in her hospital gown and curls. She wakes from her Sleeping Cutie slumber with pursed lips and retrograde amnesia. “Who are you?” She coos to her estranged parents. And that’s when the premise of the pilot is revealed: nobody gets it! Pooor, amnestic Samantha.

The way we were.

The Hills pretty much delivered. Most shocking of all: everything promised in the trailer for the premiere actually happened. And not only did it happen, it happened in all its eery, depressant, otherworldly Hills-like way — the only downfall being that Audrina was there, too.

Doctor's orders! Grrr.

Here is the news:

1. Britney Spears came out of her hotel/ house.
2. Brad Pitt almost did jury duty. Oh.
3. Woody Allen doesn’t actually mention Lindsay once…
4. The show formerly know as Lauguna Beach: The Real Orange County will now be Newport Harbor: the real Orange County

Pshhh

Is that even possible? Yes. Britney Spears' cousin/ex-assistant Alli Sims wants to be famous. On her new Web site, there are three photos of Sims dressed like Barbie/Britney/a hooch, two links to Britney Spears fansites (like breathheavy.com), and ONE recorded track of Sims singing "On My Very Own" from Les Mis that is very bad and, according to her biography, from her favorite performance in the Junior Miss Georgia Pageant show.

Will the Los Angeles sheriffs, judges, and laywers kindly MAKE UP THEIR MINDS?

First Paris is in jail. Then she's sent home to do her time. Now they're sending her back to the slammer.

Please, just figure it out before the weekend is over. I don't want to hold up a wiffeball game just so I can check the blogz.