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Why the NFL sucks

Tales of the No Fun League; judging the judges; parsing the Pamphlet of Record
Oh, we meant to say "Why the NFL sucks . . . except for the Patriots." Sorry. And prepare yourself for a sporting screed.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  January 05, 2011

United wussies of America

Summing up '10; life in the biggest little; communication breakdowns
"We're becoming a nation of wussies." Well, that's a hell of a way to wrap up a year.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  December 29, 2010


Desk job

Duck and cover redux; the best Congress money can buy; the Cabrals to the rescue!
Phillipe and Jorge believe it was thoughtful during this holiday season for the US government to clue in the Great Unwashed on how to survive a possible nuclear bomb strike. Their message, as reported by the New York Times on December 15: "Do not flee. Get inside any stable building and don't come out till officials say it's safe."
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  December 22, 2010


. . . Just glad to see me?

Bad karma; a Complex Christmas; the Darwin Awards; J.R. at City Hall
Phillipe and Jorge's Plaxico Burress Award goes to State Representative Peter Petrarca who was charged Saturday night with illegally firing a gun outside Club Karma, of which he is part owner, in the ProHo district of Our Little Towne.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  December 15, 2010


Let them eat cake

Obama caves, FIFA cashes in; Don checks out; Huzzah for Bill and Jaimy
Phillipe and Jorge will be keeping a close eye on the upcoming Senate vote on continuing the tax cuts for the filthy rich (the top two percent of Americans) who now appear to control America. And we trust Messrs. Reed and Whitehouse will do the right thing.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  December 08, 2010


Linc's greenskeeping

Chafee gets a feather in his cap; dreading Cantor; Korean fever dreams
Sure, governor-elect Lincoln Chafee used to shoe racehorses up in Canada, but it appears he could also have been a good greenskeeper.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  December 01, 2010


Not-so-United States

Divisive radicals vs. the moronization of America; postcard from Florida
The BeloJo had a story on Sunday that gave a rating of absolutely true to Senator Weldon Shitehouse's contention that "current US law permits companies that close down American factories and offices and move those jobs overseas to take a tax deduction for the costs associated with moving the jobs to China or India or wherever." Wow!
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  November 24, 2010


The journalist makes news; don't buy it; two fond farewells

Pop goes the weasel
"ri monthly has a story coming out where I am listed as one of the top 10 most powerful in ri. If they try to f*** me, I will kill them." Who said that? John DePetro, WPRO's morning talk show weasel.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  November 17, 2010

The view from the throne

Toilet humor; They do? They don't?; The GOP is ont he clock; Dubya returns
We think we're turning Japanese, we think we're turning Japanese, we really think so. The Japanese have a tremendous obsession with toilets. But the Narragansett Bay Commission, which oversees treatment of metropolitan Providence's sewage, are getting in the game with their upcoming celebration of World Toilet Day (no, we're not kidding).
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  November 10, 2010

The Independent Man, and greased to go

Our last words on campaign ’10; acting up; farewell, Len Jardine
Phillipe and Jorge were given a subtle indicator that it was going to be a tough election night when an ad for his-and-hers KY Jelly ran right after the early ballot projections on Channel 6's news at 9 pm. This was to be a Ben Dover Production, indeed.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  November 04, 2010

Rejoice! Race to the bottom soon over

The scramble for the undecided vote; quotes of note; the Life of Keith
There are only a few more days left in this particularly ridiculous election cycle and, if there is one group of people who worked tirelessly and with true creative elan it would be the opposition research teams. Give these folks a bonus! That much of their handiwork is utter bullshit is undoubtedly true but, still, they worked overtime on this one.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  October 27, 2010

In the matter of Chafee campaign manager John 'JR' Pagliarini

Karl Rove would be proud; it’s still a Complex World; the return of Ut
The outrageous attempt to tar Linc Chafee's campaign manager John "JR" Pagliarini, who fell on his sword last week and quit the campaign, is the sort of Karl Roveian dirty trick that should make any decent Vo Dilunduh long for a good shower.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  October 20, 2010

The weird get weirder; all about rubbers; farewell to Mr. Burke

Republican theocrats
When you consider the Democrats' disunity, ineptitude, and near-complete inability to present voters with a coherent program, it would seem that the pundits who have been predicting a Republican tsunami have a strong argument. But wait! Just in time, the GOP comes to the rescue by putting up a whole slew of Christian fundamentalist candidates.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  October 13, 2010


R.I.P., Ben Mondor (1925-2010)

The beloved Mr. Mondor; Environmental blinders; Volume control; Insane Clown Posse
Flags at half-mast at Casa Diablo and black mourning mantillas over Phillipe and Jorge’s heads on learning of the death of Ben Mondor Sunday at his home in Warwick Neck at age 85.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  October 07, 2010


Golden memories of the diamond

Big baseball anniversaries; not-so-E-Z pass; remebering Jimbo
We know the vast majority of Cool, Cool World readers do not have a personal memory of life on the planet earth, circa 1960, as they were not yet born.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  September 29, 2010


The Looey Guv lunacy; a few endorsements; notable quotes; fond farewells

Fodder by the ton
"You guys have the easiest job in the world," our fellow Vo Dilunders often tell Phillipe and Jorge. "There’s so much political fodder in this state you have enough material for a lifetime."
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  September 22, 2010

Post-primary punditry; war games; holy howlers; words worth reading

Fallen chips
OK, boys and girls, the primaries are over. Let’s see what hit the floor when the chips fell on Tuesday.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  September 16, 2010

The most wonderful (not) time of year: P+J's endorsements

Plus, pushing for a free press at CCRI; remembering Nathan
Yes, it's election time and, sad to say, all those ridiculous television ads that are designed to capture the "moron vote" (by far, the largest sector of the voting public) are in heavy rotation.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  September 08, 2010

Holy Everglades, Batman!

A 'gator in the biggest little; angry Americans are still angry; a few great women
What a shock to see the discovery of an alligator at Sissons Pond in Portsmouth! Based on the photographs, Phillipe and Jorge reckon it has to be the largest reptile ever seen in the Biggest Little outside of the State House.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  September 01, 2010


The Rhode Show in outer space

Crooning with Chris Young; Nazi talk; Clemens v. congress; the lure of the bucket
Easily the most otherworldly, bizarre event in this year's busy campaign season was the August 23 appearance on Channel 12's The Rhode Show by Providence mayoral candidate Christopher Young, renowned for his multiple bids for office in the Biggest Little under the banner of the Monster Raving Loony Party.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  August 26, 2010

Cafeteria Americans

The mosque malarkey; constitutional showdown in Cranston
Congratulations to the national Republican Party. Dismissive of the Constitution and thoroughly addicted to whipping up fear and ignorance, they've now managed to get a rise out of the "booboisie" — H.L. Mencken's term for the clueless public — with their demagoguery on the New York "mosque" non-controversy.
By: PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  August 18, 2010

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