Could be Verse: Poetry ripped straight from the headlines
By JAMES PARKER | June 20, 2007
VIDEO: James Parker reads "Flushed Away"
Lines Upon Hearing of the Systematic Theft by Persons Unknown of Certain Toilet Parts From Fast-Food Restaurants in the Town of Methuen
Flushometer, brains of the bathroom, flow-controlling flushometer,
The burglars are coming to carry you off like Perseus carried Andromeda.
Their secret design is to stack and combine you: a toilet a mile high!
They know what they’re doing, out in Methuen, and the day of cleansing is nigh.
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Trash night. Trash night, trash night, trash night. Abfallnacht , as they probably call it in Germany.
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Oswalt takes aim at Middle American targets in a conversational manner that suggests he knows he’s among friends.
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Shame on anyone who goes to the doughnut chain across the street.
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Environmental researchers testing the city’s soil for lead are finding that not all is well beneath May’s bursting blooms.
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Libby describes Leahy’s spot on the committee as “good for new England — because without that voice we’d be invisible.”
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As everyone knows, Canada completely lacks core values.
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