* Someone who uses social networking sites to hook up with past cohorts: RETROSEXUAL
* Someone who likes to eat cake, among other things: MARIE ANTOINETTE–TROSEXUAL* Someone who fetishistically wears awful Hawaiian shirts during coitus: JIMMY BUFFETT–TROSEXUAL
* Someone who pleases his partner because he couldn't pay for dinner: DEBTROSEXUAL
* Someone who wants to bang a Dylan impersonator: CATE BLANCHETT–TROSEXUAL
* Someone who needs to climax at high altitudes, then turns into a ladybug: TIBETROSEXUAL
* Someone with whom sex is electric: OUTLETROSEXUAL
* Someone who attracts more partners than can be satisfied: MAGNETROSEXUAL
* Someone with whom a Uranus joke is a forgone conclusion: PLANETROSEXUAL
* Someone who knows all the strings to pull: MARIONETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone with whom dirty pillow talk is especially disconcerting: TOURETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone who rather prefers the intimacy of a Cell-Block D: JOLIETROSEXUAL
* A tease who forever makes you keep your pants on: NOT-YETROSEXUAL
* Someone who can handle any position: PIROUETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone who's startlingly quick in bed: JETROSEXUAL
* Someone who finds their sexual rhythm in John Phillip Sousa marches: CADETROSEXUAL
* Someone who enjoys risky, dangerous weapon play in the sack: BAYONETROSEXUAL
* Someone who is particularly titillated by patriotic French ditties: ALOUETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone who, for whatever reason, is actually stimulated by Woody Allen: CLARINETROSEXUAL
* Someone for whom the pleasant aroma of French cooking is an aphrodisiac: CRÊPES SUZETTE–TROSEXUAL
* Someone who reaches new sexual heights by watching Bob Newhart reruns: SUZANNE PLESHETTE–TROSEXUAL
* Someone who gets their rocks off in a small, confined galley: KITCHENETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone who almost always bets on black . . . or red: ROULETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone who is forever adding extra partners to a threesome: STRING-QUARTETROSEXUAL
* A critically lauded entertainer who constantly needs to be reminded of the adulation of his peers — and has just the blunt object to help out: STATUETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone who is woefully behind in the technology he uses to create bedroom ambience: CASSETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone possibly lacking in other areas who can use a loaf of bread to make up the difference: BAGUETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone who knows quite well how to toss your salad: VINAIGRETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone who can put themselves in a dither with the help of Charo: CASTANE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone who, on a given night, has their choice of male, female, or transgender partner: ARQUETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone whose bedroom activities are enhanced when modulated with the soothing voice of geriatric Middle East correspondents: PETER ARNETT–TROSEXUAL
* Someone who likes to party pretty much like it's 1999, but in the back of cramped vanity vehicles: LITTLE-RED-CORVETTE-TROSEXUAL
* Someone who, thanks to the largess of oil barons, is never short of lubricant: PETROSEXUAL
