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Big Hurt

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The Big Hurt: Taking on pain, cooling on wangs

Music news in brief
Weezer's forthcoming album will be titled Raditude . I almost want to pep them up: "Come on, Weezer, you're not that bad." But they are.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  August 31, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Checking the Billboard Hot 100

Who charted?
As usual, I won't be able to make it through the full 100, but seven is just as good, right?
By: DAVID THORPE  |  August 25, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Broken bones and stripper poles

The Big Hurt: Music news in brief
Only a few weeks ago, I was making fun of Aerosmith for their inability to present Aerosmith in their Guitar Hero: Aerosmith Presents Aerosmith tour.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  August 18, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Woo ware

This one goes out to all the ladies
A friend of mine offered a suggestion: I should make a ton of money by compiling and selling the most foolproof ladykiller of a romantic mixtape ever conceived.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  August 11, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Pop eroticism, faux sincerity, and sperm motility

Music News in Brief
I am a man who loves a good corporate doofus, and this week's glistening-prize-hog-doofus quote goes to TOM WELCH , Wal-Mart's senior music buyer, who manages to make Foreigner sound even squarer than Foreigner.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  August 05, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Strung Out

Vitamin Records classes up the joint — kinda
A friend of mine is getting married soon, and she's been looking around for some classy wedding music.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  July 29, 2009



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The Big Hurt: MJ murder mystery, Aerosmith injuries

Music News in Brief
Much as I hate to bring up Michael Jackson again, I was intrigued by sister La Toya's allegations that he was knocked off for his publishing assets.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  July 22, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Oddest proposal

Music News in Brief
"Wasn't nothing strange about your daddy," said Al Sharpton to Michael Jackson's children. "It was strange what your daddy had to deal with."
By: DAVID THORPE  |  July 14, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Michael and Steven, RIP

Music news in brief
Even if I got scooped by everyone else, I believe my inimitable wit will ensure that my reportage goes down in history as the definitive account, so here goes: Michael Jackson died.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  July 10, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Bomb squad

This week in optional listening
Plenty of great shit to get excited about this week: new Wilco and Jarvis Cocker, tons of Rolling Stones reissues, a double-disc Jonas Brothers DVD spectacular, and the long-awaited 31st edition of the venerable Now That's What I Call Music! series. But if you happen to have a few bucks left over . . .
By: DAVID THORPE  |  June 30, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Durst pantsed, Michaels smooshed

Music news in brief
"This isn't a reunion, this is a comeback," quibbled the red-hatted irrelephant in a BBC interview.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  June 23, 2009



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The Big Hurt: Parse and labor

The week in unhelpful headlines
I think music-news headlines are now officially my favorite part of pop music.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  June 15, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Pratt falls

Plus Ringo shills, Yanni sucks
Spencer Pratt, one of the vacuous props on MTV's realityesque moron drama The Hills , has his beady eyes set on a rap career.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  June 08, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Billboard's Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks

Who charted?
What a lovely concept is mainstream rock : all that subversive stuff was fun for a while, but isn't rock much lovelier now that it's straightened up and joined the hegemony?
By: DAVID THORPE  |  June 02, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Wascally wappers

Plus failed massacres and reverse piracy
Lame as Marilyn Manson may be, I wouldn't wish his fans on him if he were my worst enemy.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  June 01, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Rock in a hard place

The economy makes music its bitch
Fear not, broke American: the music industry feels your pain.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  May 18, 2009



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The Big Hurt: Brand new Dio; same old Yoko; auguries of Creed

Music news in brief
In the process of writing last week's column about hidden Satanic messages in pop music, I listened to a bunch of shit backward and discovered that the track "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga is much, much better that way.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  May 12, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Devil music

sgurd fo stros lla od ot su slepmoc nataS
When I was around 10 years old, I wandered into a rural flea market and found one of the greatest pieces of music journalism ever written: a forgotten crank masterpiece called Backward Masking Unmasked that had been written in 1983 by Texan minister Jacob Aranza.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  May 05, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Jacko solvent! Boyle swelling! Lupus dissed!

MJ's ranch, Hoppus and Wentz on Twitter, and Susan Boyle
If you had your heart set on picking up a gently used chimp tuxedo or a suspicious child skeleton, you're outta luck
By: DAVID THORPE  |  April 28, 2009

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The Big Hurt: The week in beef (in brief)

Ross at a loss; Weezy throws hissy
A recessed economy means fewer chains to go around, so it's been a fine week for a-fussin'-and-a-feudin'.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  April 21, 2009

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The Big Hurt: Crashing Pumpkins

Plus Lynched Beatles, and a misleading Baby
I recently had the "was that real, or did I dream that?" feeling about the upcoming Spider-Man musical featuring songs by U2, and I happily concluded that it was a dream.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  April 13, 2009


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