Last of the dinosaurs

By AL DIAMON  |  December 19, 2012

That should win the endorsement of creationists.

The reality is that Maine Democrats have come to an evolutionary dead end. Promoting Dunlap for secretary of state and Baldacci as their nominee for governor are stunning indications of a party that's run out of frontline candidates capable of winning statewide races.

Of course, some deluded Dems will point to their two incumbent US representatives as evidence their species isn't endangered. But 1st District Congresswoman Chellie Pingree is just the sort of candidate that goes extinct in a hurry once she's forced outside the liberal lost world of southern Maine (remember when her predecessors Tom Allen and Tom Andrews strode the political world like behemoths?). And 2nd District Congressman Mike Michaud's I'm-not-pro-choice-or-pro-life shtick will play about as well in Portland as a Tyrannosaurus claiming it can't decide if it's a carnivore or herbivore.

The Democrats need to learn that the dinosaurs have had their day (Charlie Webster notwithstanding). Dunlap and Baldacci are best suited for stuffing and mounting in the state museum. Pingree and Michaud should be allowed to live out their lives in their specialized habitats. Dill (and her immediate ancestor, Libby Mitchell) ought to be fossilized. Forcibly, if necessary.

It's time for warm-blooded creatures with opposable thumbs, the ability to walk upright, and the brain capacity to invent fire, stone tools, Zumba, and television attack ads.

This new approach should be called something clever.

Like intelligent design.

If you have a bronto bone to pick with me, email aldiamon@herniahill.net.

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