While you were off baking on the Cape/studying in Uganda/passed out on your couch in Allston, there was plenty happening in Boston this summer. Here’s a handy list.
1) JULIE AND HILLARY GOODRIDGE, the lead plaintiffs in the landmark Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court case that legalized gay marriage, announced they were separating.
2) The SOMEDAY CAFÉ, in Davis Square, closed. A crêpe place is moving in.
3) The morons who run the MBTA keep screwing up KENMORE SQUARE by building a new station they can’t seem to finish.
4) Yet they had enough time to install new Charlie Card Star Trek–esque FARE GATES in stops all over town.
5) With only two gigs under their belt, the biggest buzz-band in Boston was BANG CAMARO, a supergroup consisting of 14 frontmen singing ’80s-styled flash-metal anthems.
6) COCO CRISP made one of the most amazing catches the Fenway centerfield has ever seen during the Sox’ three-game sweep of the Mets.
7) Then in August, a bird landed on the field at Fenway, it got eaten by a hawk, and the SOX season turned to shit.
8) A portion of the BIG DIG TUNNEL fell on a car, killing Milena Del Valle, of Jamaica Plain.
9) In the following weeks, the GLOBE and the HERALD flooded the zone, trying to one-up each other in the quest for a Pulitzer. The Herald started off strong, but eventually couldn’t keep up.
10) MITT ROMNEY told a crowd in Iowa of the collapse, “The best thing politically would be to stay as far away from that tar baby as I can.” The Phoenix added the comment to its running list of Mitt screw-ups.
11) The city paid STEPHEN COWANS $3.2 million to settle claims that the BPD violated his civil rights after wrongfully convicting him of shooting a police officer in the ass.
12) WIKIMANIA 2006 came to Cambridge. The population of African Elephants tripled overnight.
13) We put PARIS HILTON on the cover and called her "AMERICA’S NEXT MUSICAL GENIUS." Most people got it.
14) The LILY PAD received a cease-and-desist order, but they’re operating again in a reduced capacity.
15) An ARSONIST ran around lighting fires in Jamaica Plain.
16) Would-be Democratic governor TOM REILLY screwed up yet again when leaked emails showed his campaign planned to help New York labor activist Ray Rogers, head of the Campaign to Stop Killer Coke, publicly criticize Deval Patrick.
17) T-shirt maven JOHNNY CUPCAKES opened a store on Newbury Street. NPR covered it, and expressed concern that no actual cupcakes are for sale at the shop, which is made to look like a bakery.
18) TJ’S HOUSE OF PIZZA, in Allston, went vegan and changed its name to TJ Scallywaggles.
19) HARRY SINDEN announced he was stepping down as president of the Bruins after 17 years.
20) For a split second, Boston remembered it had a HOCKEY TEAM, and then went back to watching the Sox.
21) JOHN BUBIER, the gravel-voiced panhandler often seen wandering around Downtown Crossing wondering aloud, “does annnybody haaave annnnny spaaaaare chaaaaange,” made his network television debut on the Fox 25 Morning Show.
