This Just In

Isn’t there a better term than ‘girlfriend’?

Guys and dolls

By BRIAN C. JONES | May 30, 2007

Shaha Riza

What do Rhode Island state Senator Maryellen Goodwin, Shaha Riza, Miledis Hilario, and Karla Jensen have in common?

They all were in the news recently, some under tragic circumstances. And all were slapped with the title of “girlfriend.”

But none of them, when brought to the public’s attention, had been a “girl” for quite some time.

Goodwin, according to state records, is 42. She was identified by Providence Journal political columnist M. Charles Bakst as the “girlfriend” of former Lieutenant Governor Charles Fogarty, in a piece that was complimentary to both.

Riza has been widely identified as the “girlfriend” of the former president of the World Bank, Paul Wolfowitz, who supposedly engineered a “generous” compensation package for her. According to the sometimes unauthoritative online encyclopedia Wikipedia, she is in her early 50s.

Hilario was 41 when she was allegedly killed by Hamlet Lopez. She then was identified by the Journal as Lopez’s “former girlfriend.”

Jensen, 37, was the “girlfriend,” according to the Times of New York and Los Angeles, who allegedly was assaulted in a Las Vegas parking lot by Chris Albrecht. He was fired as CEO of Home Box Office because of the incident.

The use of “girlfriend,” even in the friendly context of Bakst’s column, is insulting. These are women. They haven’t been anyone’s girlfriend since high school.

To refer to unmarried adults as “girlfriends” or “boyfriends” belittles the nature of a mature relationship. And certainly, in at least two of these stories, the word “friend” not only doesn’t belong, but disguises the brutality of domestic violence.

The Associated Press Stylebook, the gold standard referee in debates about news-speak, decrees that the use of “girl” must stop when someone has turned 18, after which the designation should be “woman” or “young woman.”

But in the very next reference, the AP book lists “girlfriend,” yet with no definition, apparently including the word as a spelling guide for the wire service’s and other idiot reporters, who otherwise might try to write it “girl-friend” or “girl friend.”

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines “girlfriend” as: “a frequent or regular female companion in a romantic or sexual relationship.” But just because it’s in the dictionary doesn’t make it right.

There has to be a better word. Lord knows, the media have tried. There are references to “partner,” and “companion.” (And “female companion,” lest a reader jump to conclusions.)

So let the word go out: I hereby declare this challenge to all of goodwill and great heart, to young and old, male and female: come up with a word that does the job, that instantly conveys what “husband” and “wife” do — and what we all know that “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” do, but in a better way.

Send your nominations to me at brijudy@cox.net. (The “Judy” therein is my wife, not my girlfriend, though she’s very cute.)

The winner will receive no prize beyond a) the declaration that you are a “Genius”; b) the gratitude of journalists everywhere; and c) announcement of your achievement in this space.

Topics: This Just In , U.S. Government, U.S. State Government, Culture and Lifestyle, More

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