Mirror, mirror

By MATT TAIBBI  |  April 28, 2010

Moving on to Texas, where UT running back Vondrell McGee got caught on a DUI, incurring the wrath of Longhorns coach Mack Brown, who’s becoming very adept at press releases of the following character:

“We’re aware of Vondrell’s situation and are disappointed anytime one of our players is accused of wrongdoing,” said Brown. “We take a strong stance against drinking and driving and will thoroughly investigate this situation to get more details.”

McGee gets our standard 25 DUI points. In addition, he’ll miss at least one game this fall, and has to play on the Longhorns scout team until Brown decides otherwise.

Matt Taibbi can be reached at m_taibbi@yahoo.com.

LEADER BOARD
QUENTIN WYCHE (EX-FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL) | murder, taunting | 100
BOGDAN RUDENKO (COLORADO SPRINGS GOLD KINGS) | murder | 90
BRENT VINSON (EX-TENNESSEE) | accessory to murder | 89
MIGUEL STARKS AND REGINALD RICE (THE CITADEL) | Clockwork Orange–style home invasion | 88
ROBERT MITCHELL AND KELLY WHITNEY (EX–SETON HALL) | eight — count ’em, eight — counts of kidnapping | 85
TYLER CAMPBELL (COASTAL CAROLINA) | kidnapping and pet assault | 70
WARREN SAPP (EX-BUCS) | girlfriend-choking | 63
BEN ROETHLISBERGER (STEELERS) | another sexual assault allegation | 60
GARY BROWN (FLORIDA) | girl-hitting/scratching | 58
SANTONIO HOLMES (STEELERS) | chucking a glass at chick's face in nightclub | 58
9_ LAMICHAEL JAMES (OREGON) | girlfriend-choking | 58
DEON ANDERSON (COWBOYS) | scary gun-waving incident | 50
GERALD AND BRANDON LAIRD, AND THEIR CRAZY-ASS GRANDPA (TIGERS, YANKEES) | messing with Eddie House's wife, attacking security guards | 48
GILBERT ARENAS (WIZARDS) | fun with guns | 40
CHRIS TERRY (EX-CHIEFS, BENGALS) | a standard "Bulldog" | 35
DUSTY DVORACEK (BEARS) | being a big hulking drunken menace to bouncers | 31
TERRANCE TOLIVER (LSU) | resisting arrest, getting himself Tasered | 31
DEQUAN STARLING AND T.J. DRAKEFORD (MARSHALL) | shoving cops while smashed | 28
KIKO ALONSO (OREGON) | DUI; another arrested Duck | 25
RONNIE BROWN (DOLPHINS) | DUI | 25
CHRIS CHELIOS (CHICAGO WOLVES) | DUI | 25
REY MAUALUGA (BENGALS) | driving drunk en route to teenie ménage a trois | 25
VONDRELL MCGEE (TEXAS) | DUI | 25
GARY TINSLEY (MINNESOTA) | fleeing cops on a moped | 23
ZACH BROWNELL (SOUTH ALABAMA) | drunkenly smashing parked cars | 22
JEREMIAH MASOLI AND GARRETT EMBRY (OREGON) | boosting laptops | 20
GUY MORRISS (TEXAS A&M COMMERCE) | suppressing First Amendment | 19
SHAUN ROGERS (BROWNS) | putting loaded .45 on airport metal detector | 19
RYAN LEAF (EX-CHARGERS) | being the worst quarterback of all time, stealing hydrocodone | 17
TERRY GLENN (EX-PATRIOTS) | blew off rental-car bill | 9
CHARLES ROGERS (EX-LIONS) | violated court order by passing out drunk in a plate of Mexican food | 8
BLAINE GAUTIER, RODNEY GILLIS, DEVON LEWIS-BUCHANAN, CHRIS RICHARD (LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE) | weed, weed, weed, and weed | 1
COREY STOKES (VILLANOVA) | peeing between cars | 0.43

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