CORNERBACK DELTHA O’NEAL’S arrest last week brings the Cincinnati Bengals’ crime-spree count up to eight. |
The league leaders
The interesting thing about the DUI arrest of Cincinnati Bengal cornerback Deltha O’Neal last week isn’t that it marked the eighth arrest of a Bengal this year, or the 26th (according to my count) arrest of a major-college or pro cornerback since last winter. No, the interesting thing is that the Cincinnati Bengals–crime phenomenon is now forcing mainstream-news reporters to compile arrest counts as if they were official team statistics. Such phrases as “the most in the NFL” and “league-high 8th” appeared with some regularity in the O’Neal write-ups, a typical entry being something along the lines of this excerpt from the AP’s Joe Kay: “The Bengals lead the league in players arrested. Four of them faced alcohol-related charges, including boating under the influence . . .”
The time has now come to keep a running tally of these numbers and make them publicly available in the statistics sections of sports pages, right next to the entries for team defense, turnovers, and the like. It’s a little late to do it this year — although a quick look at the AFC East, home to our own NFL contingent, shows Miami in the lead with two arrests (Damien McIntosh, Quintin Williams), followed by a three-way tie between New York (Adrian Jones), Buffalo (Donte Whitner), and our own struggling Pats (the late Jonathan Sullivan).
Miami, as always, is the division winner in this department, despite its recent slump, given Ricky Williams’s exile and David Boston’s mysterious disappearance from earth. On a related note, an informal investigation suggests that the Miami Dolphins running-back position might be the most arrest-prone job in the NFL. Its legacy as such is incredible and runs through generations, from Mercury Morris to Bobby Humphrey to Stacey Spikes to Jamie Nails to J.J. Johnson; moreover, this list includes two of the greatest sports-crime Hall of Famers to ever strap on a set of cleats: Lawrence Phillips (who tried to run over a child, among other things) and Cecil “The Diesel” Collins (convicted for breaking into a woman’s home to watch her and her husband sleep). And let’s not forget the two Smiths, Sammie (cocaine) and Lamar (DUI), who each racked up solid arrest records, although it should be noted that Lamar’s came while in the employ of the Carolina Panthers. In any case, the Dolphins’ current slump has a lot to do with poor production out of its offensive backfield, with choir-boy type Ronnie Brown manning the helm and backup Sammy Morris having not been arrested since his Texas Tech days.
But let’s get back to the Bungles: the O’Neal bust, which comes on the heels of wideout Reggie McNeal’s arrest, seems destined to cause head coach Marvin Lewis’s brain to explode. Lewis, who is one of those “strong men also cry”–type coaches, seemed on the verge of an aneurysm following the O’Neal incident, complaining, “I can’t hold their hands 24/7” and even dabbling in a little philosophy, boldly asserting that “these things socially are not right.”
