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| Jeffrey Ross | Comedy Connection, Boston | August 10–11 | 617.248.9700 |
What would you give as a baby-shower gift to Nicole Richie and Joel Madden?
Is there a book called “Childbirth for Dummies”?How should Michael Vick be punished?
Michael Vick should be eaten by starving pit bulls — or Rosie O’Donnell. His choice.
What’s the longest you’ve gone without showering?
When I lived in the Warren Towers dorm on the Boston University campus, I once went a whole semester without showering because I was so embarrassed by my tiny shmeckel. Thanks to proper vitamins and six surgical procedures, I’m now normal-sized.
Aren’t kitty videos on YouTube just adorable?
The Internet is really just for porn and the Drudge Report. Occasionally I Google “Google” until my computer shuts down.
Tammy Faye Messner, right before she died, went on tv and said that she believed she was going straight to heaven. What do you think her heaven looks like?
She’s not dead. I could swear I saw her working in the make-up department of Filene’s Basement.
If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
I already have a superpower. I’m fuckin’ hilarious! Come see my superhuman comedic skills this weekend! It’s a bird . . . it’s a plane . . . it’s a Jew comic!
Related:
When sportscasters attack, NFL follies, Skell of the year, More 
- When sportscasters attack
Each sports season carries a relatively small number of sportscaster arrests, but the ones we do get it are usually memorable.
- NFL follies
Not only was Donte Stallworth officially charged with DUI manslaughter, but another former AFC East star, former Buffalo Bill running back Travis Henry, reached a plea agreement on drug charges.
- Skell of the year
Much less funny than usual, was 2007.
- Skell of the year 2008
Man, this was a tough one.
- Dance, Monkey: Chrissy Kelleher
No one over the age of 22 should wear butt-revealing pants.
- The Big Hurt: Fire sales
The world’s largest collection of recorded music has gone up for auction on eBay with a starting bid of $3 million.
- 16. Plaxico Burress
How does a man who catches things for a living lose control of a loaded Glock? Ever the overachiever, New York Giants wide receiver Burress was unsatisfied with the mere unsexiness of wearing sweatpants to a nightclub, and compounded the embarrassing phallic clichés about men and their guns by having the pistol in his pants pop a little early. While no Ron Mexico, Burress remains a limping monument to near-fatal stupidity.
- America’s next musical genius
Can Paris the album win over the haters who wrote off Paris the person ages ago? Paris Hilton, "Stars Are Blind" (YouTube) Hate club: Ten celebs more objectionable than Paris
- Dance, Monkey: Dan Sally
Is he the father of Clay Aiken’s child?
- Horny guy
I am 16 and a gothic Satanist. My girlfriend is from a Christian family.
- Pre-NFL Draft arrest watch
Get ready, Phoenix readers, for the dad-gum funnest week of the sports-crime year!
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Topics:
Comedy
, Boston University, Joel Madden, Nicole Richie, More
, Boston University, Joel Madden, Nicole Richie, Michael Vick, Rosie O'Donnell, Jeffrey Ross, Tammy Faye Messner, Warren Towers, Less
