Dance, Monkey: Gary Petersen

We put a comic on the hot seat
By SARA FAITH ALTERMAN  |  January 29, 2008
monke1y2inside
Gary Petersen
First BradRenfro, then Heath Ledger — hot young actors are evidently od’ing all over the place. Are ridiculously good-looking people just cursed? Should I feel bad for them and all of their devastatingly good-looking problems?
We are cursed. At least Heath gets to go out as the new Joker. I’m predicting I’ll die as the villain in the remake of Wild Hogs.

What would your hip-hop name be?
Gary “Laff-Wacky” Petersen. I wouldn’t rap so much as strangle injustice with my rhymes, and I would force a midget to degrade women.

Bye-bye, Fred Thompson! What should the recent presidential dropout do with all his spare time, since the writers’ strike is still on and they’re not filming new episodes of Law & Order?
He could become the manager of a Christian-rock nun trio called Missionary Position. He could release his celebrity sex tape, finally. He could come to an anime convention . . . with me.

What’s the sexiest woodwind instrument and why?
Chuck Norris!

Global warming: fact or fiction?
We have real problems like immigration, health care, and “Cloverfield.” It is the same problem. I am tired of these illegal sea aliens coming here and causing long lines in my hospitals.

Gary Petersen | Comedy Studio, Cambridge | February 17 + 20 | 617.661.6507

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