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AL DIAMON

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Over before it started

Cancel the campaigns
It's finished. The gubernatorial candidates can cancel all remaining campaign appearances.

By: AL DIAMON | September 29, 2010

Behaving badly
Getting a stern lecture on political decorum from the likes of me would be similar to being scolded by Hannibal Lecter for indulging in cannibalism. Both reprimands would carry a strong odor of hypocrisy.

By: AL DIAMON | September 22, 2010

Cleaning house

Board overhaul
Maine’s government contains more than 300 boards and commissions — ranging from the influential, such as the Finance Authority of Maine (FAME) and the Land Use Regulation Commission (LURC), to the obscure, such as one that oversees landscape architects and another that makes sure cosmetologists don’t spread cooties.

By: AL DIAMON | September 16, 2010

My new excuse

Whatever Colgan does, it's not his fault
Charlie Colgan isn't to blame for all the mistakes made by . . . uh . . . Charlie Colgan.

By: AL DIAMON | September 08, 2010

Maine's banned breeds

Pariah dogs
I'm a dog slut. I admit that's not an attribute I'm proud to list on my resume, but it still beats being called a "dog person."

By: AL DIAMON | September 01, 2010

Addicted to distraction

Mad political science
I have just finished conducting extensive scientific experiments that required me to wear a white lab coat, to order my deformed assistant to dig up corpses from fresh graves, and to combine common household chemicals in plastic soda bottles. The results of my tests are indisputable.

By: AL DIAMON | August 26, 2010

Less of you

Reform is a bad idea
When the Legislature gets reformed, things get worse.

By: AL DIAMON | August 18, 2010

Illegal smile

What if toothpaste were as hard to get as medical marijuana?
Suppose you lived in an alternative universe, and you needed toothpaste, so you could brush your alternative teeth and look hygienic.

By: AL DIAMON | August 11, 2010

Strangely familiar

Politics & other mistakes
The clock struck midnight on a cold, starless night in January, 2011, signaling the end of Inauguration Day in Maine.

By: AL DIAMON | August 04, 2010

Walking on a rainbow

Libby Mitchell's rose-colored glasses
It's the message most Democratic legislative candidates don't want to find on their voicemail: "Hi, it's Libby Mitchell. I'll be in your area next week and thought it would be really great if we could campaign together."

By: AL DIAMON | July 28, 2010

Badly drawn boy

The cartoony Cutler
I'm not saying this is a reason to vote either for or against independent gubernatorial candidate Eliot Cutler, but have you noticed how he bears a distinct resemblance to Fred Flintstone?

By: AL DIAMON | July 21, 2010

Moody blue

What stands in Shawn Moody's way
Independent Shawn Moody of Gorham could become the next governor of Maine.

By: AL DIAMON | July 14, 2010

Staring down the brilliant dream of Kevin Scott

Kevin Scott has some great ideas.
What he doesn't have is a clue.

By: AL DIAMON | July 07, 2010

Ignorance is bliss

Social issues
Maine governors do stupid things.

By: AL DIAMON | July 01, 2010

Spookin' the horses

Scary trumps stupid every time
Move over, Freddy Krueger. Here come the real scary monsters: Libby Mitchell and Paul LePage.

By: AL DIAMON | June 16, 2010

Plan B

Post-primary predictions
With the end of the long primary campaign, Mainers are facing an ugly reality.

By: AL DIAMON | June 09, 2010

Secret desires

Who's going to win the election?
Everywhere I go, people keep asking me, “Who’s going to win the election?” Often, my answer depends on my mood (which ranges from bad to horrendous).

By: AL DIAMON | June 02, 2010

Foolish dreams

Maine Democratic Party offers a lot of freebies, beer is not one of them
There’s nothing in the Maine Democratic Party’s platform about free beer.

By: AL DIAMON | May 26, 2010

The powerless rise

The danger of the unfocused anger of the Tea Party
I’m an even-tempered guy. I don’t lose my cool more than, maybe, once or twice a day.

By: AL DIAMON | May 19, 2010

Your words are not your own

Less Otten. More Originality.
Plagiarism is a serious charge.

By: AL DIAMON | May 12, 2010

Wrote a song for everyone

Name that tune
Political experts know the most important factor in a successful race for governor is the campaign song.

By: AL DIAMON | May 05, 2010

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