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The Big Hurt: Burnt beef, Bono’s billions, blotto Billboard, and Bieber’s balls

Music News in Brief
 BIEBERWATCH! Last we heard of the lad, Scooter Braun confirmed — after extensive hands-on palpation and scrotal Ben Wa Balling, no doubt — that Bieber's balls had dropped.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  June 05, 2012

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The Big Hurt: An unknown legend comes in from the cold

Return of a band namer
From the early '70s through the late '90s, artist branding guru Harold Wells worked with nearly every major label, coming up with perfect names for some of the most famous acts in rock history.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  June 01, 2012

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The Big Hurt: This week in technical difficulties

Where’s Freddie?
As a freshly minted connoisseur of dead-guy holograms, I was thrilled when Brian May announced that deceased legend FREDDIE MERCURY would make a special appearance at the 10th anniversary show of Queen's musical, We Will Rock You.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  May 25, 2012

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The Big Hurt: Platinum League vs. Yo! MTV Raps Trading Cards

Hip-hop collectibles
I spied an exciting story on XXL magazine's website: "Platinum League Releases First Ever Hip-Hop Trading Cards."
By: DAVID THORPE  |  May 16, 2012

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The Big Hurt: This week in strategic promotional partnerships

Gamesmanship
Art can't reach its full purity until it's been smelted in the crucible of commerce.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  May 11, 2012

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The Big Hurt: Dodging the IRL horseshit at the World’s Lulziest convention

ROFLCon: A Skeptic’s Guide
I've braved some gruesome events in the line of making-fun-of-stuff duty: anime conventions, comic conventions, and even a furry convention. Only one of them approached genuine hell on Earth.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  May 03, 2012



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The Big Hurt: The Tupac slope

Can living stars be replaced by undead holograms?
When a holographic Tupac Shakur wowed Coachella crowds this month, we all knew it was more than a ghoulish optical illusion. There was a shared sense that it was a watershed moment in pop history — a sense that the border between life and death had been breached, and it could never be repaired.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  April 24, 2012

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The Big Hurt: On-Demand Songs

Who charted?
The On-Demand Songs chart is a radical new way to measure the consumption of music.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  April 20, 2012

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The Big Hurt: Wheelchair songs

Music news in brief
To whatever benevolent universal force tried to put a stop to the next CRAZY TOWN record by placing SHIFTY SHELLSHOCK in a coma last week: thanks, but further comas won't be necessary.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  April 13, 2012

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The Big Hurt: Diving into the billowing smokestack of music industry press releases

Industrial waste
With all those huge buses and private jets, the music industry produces plenty of harmful waste — it's no joke that Aerosmith's latest US jaunt is called the "Global Warming Tour."
By: DAVID THORPE  |  April 05, 2012

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The Big Hurt: Forward into the past!

Music news in brief
COOLIO just got arrested for missing a court date . . . in 2010.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  March 28, 2012



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The Big Hurt: JACKED at SXSW

Indie’s rising stars play beneath the shadow of Big Dorito
This year's South by Southwest festival has plenty of big attractions, but none are bigger than the Doritos JACKED Stage.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  March 20, 2012

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The Big Hurt: This month in rap ( . . . in 1992)

Twenty years ago, Marky Mark sucked, NOSE EARRINGS(?) ruled, and some blood was found in Dance Floor’s trachea
I'm overdue for a hip-hop news roundup, but it's all so lame.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  March 14, 2012

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The Big Hurt: Kid and Mitt, Ja Rule’s Leap Day, Limp Bizkit and Cash Money, Bieberwatch, and more

Music news in brief
At the July 2011 launch party for Kid Rock's Born Free album, the New York Post was already asking the tough questions: who would Kid Rock endorse for president?
By: DAVID THORPE  |  March 06, 2012

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The Big Hurt: Rihanna/Brown media roundup

Hurt so bad
Hey, remember when Chris Brown beat his beloved celebrity girlfriend to the point of hospitalization, and it looked like, thank goodness, he totally wouldn't get away with it?
By: DAVID THORPE  |  February 29, 2012

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The Big Hurt: The Whitney price hike, Francis Bean's cat, Shakira's sea lion adventure

Music news in brief
It seemed a little suspicious when, hours after Whitney Houston's death, the prices of her various greatest hits albums shot up by several pounds in the UK iTunes store.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  February 22, 2012



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The week’s neglected press releases

The Big Hurt
Another slog through the PR dregs — because if I didn't do it, who would?
By: DAVID THORPE  |  February 15, 2012

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The Big Hurt: The miracle of Japanese Wikipedia

The miracle of Japanese
In a break from my usual bad-jokes format, I bring you something so strange and wonderful that I just had to share it with the world.    
By: DAVID THORPE  |  February 08, 2012

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The Big Hurt: Hot 100 Debuts

Who charted?
I love writing these chart-watching editions of "The Big Hurt," but I don't do it too often, and for a depressing reason: the same shit stays on the charts week after week.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  February 01, 2012

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The Big Hurt: Bush break-in, Barenaked Ladies at Bud Light, Madonna vs. Gaga, and Juliette Lewis vs. Lana Del Rey

Music news in brief
We've all given serious thought to buying an expensive Tiffany ring, flying to the UK, and busting into KATE BUSH's house to propose marriage.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  January 24, 2012

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The Big Hurt: This week in image problems

Bieber's adulthood, Manson and Trent's arson, Snoop's weed, Adele's weight, and Jay-Z and Beyoncé's baby
Poor Biebs. He just wants to be the wholesome kid next door, but with his 18th birthday creeping up, America's youth-stealing culture just can't wait to liquor him up and lay him.
By: DAVID THORPE  |  January 17, 2012


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