A blood-boiled appeal to the young and bewildered Boston newbies

By CLIF GARBODEN | August 31, 2010

And while you're co-operating, take off that backpack and shove it up your ass. You barely fit on the subway; dressed up as Igor the Hunchback, you're really in the way. Did you pay a fare for that tumor of books?

Look, kids, you, in all your ingenuousness, are one of this proud city's major industries. We need your business to make up for all the property taxes your schools don't pay. But give us a break. You're young, rich enough to get an overpriced education, and still eligible for a promising future. We know that, and we're jealous. We're also old and potentially in your way. So, have mercy, and stay out of ours.

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