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MUSTACHE ON A STICK

Ah, the mustache party. How bleak our lives must have been before we first began to take photographs of one another wearing comically oversize mustaches on sticks for the sole purpose of spicing up our Facebook profiles.

To understand why hipsters pass out fake mustaches at their weddings is to take a journey through the history of the hipster itself. The child molester/'70s-porn mustache began its resurgence around the turn of the millennium, concurrent with the celebrity of real-life molester Terry Richardson. Soon, aspiring dirtbags everywhere began sprouting semi-ironic lip hairs. The trend reached its zenith when Martha Stewart posted labor-intensive instructions for wedding 'staches on her Living blog. Now, the flower girl can match the man in the windowless van watching her through binoculars.

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