Bad Boston

By PHOENIX STAFF  |  January 17, 2007

Get the truck outta here
Try barreling up Comm Ave toward the Pike at rush hour. Keep right. Sure, until you run into the back of a UPS truck or some band unloading its tour bus in front of the Paradise. Tumble out of the Prudential Pike exit-tunnel in the morning and rear-end some limousine blocking the travel lane behind the Sheraton. DOUBLE PARKING is the acknowledged major source of Boston traffic jams, and the biggest offenders (more than 60 percent according to recent stats) are trucks and other commercial vehicles. In a 2000 study, researchers logged 7.8 commercial vehicles per 1000 feet of curb on High Street between 4 and 6 pm. A rough estimate puts High Street at about 3000 feet long — tops. That’s 21-plus trucks over two hours.

Double parkers are arrogant and inconsiderate. And a real hazard, as cars are forced to weave around them and merge with oblivious traffic. They take entire lanes out of commission. They should be shot on sight. Instead, Boston has targeted certain high-volume streets (e.g. High, Boylston) for what the BTD calls Corridor Improvement projects — i.e. actually enforcing double-parking laws in certain areas. Boylston was thus noticeably streamlined in 2001. It’s time to expand the program.

Where the boys aren’t
I am a lesbian. I want to grab a beer on a Tuesday night. I want to do this with a lot of other lesbians. But I can’t. There’s more than enough demand for such an establishment; you can’t walk two feet in Somerville or Jamaica Plain without bumping into some tie-wearing, spiky-haired dyke. So, what’s the problem? Maybe we’re too damn far apart. Could someone, or a few of us, put our funds together and CREATE A WOMEN’S BAR somewhere downtown, where the Red and Orange Lines meet?

Snake-biting
This town dearly loves its sports teams. So why do so many in the media seem to hate them so much? Boston’s POISONOUS SPORTS MEDIA can’t seem to get in enough licks.

Exhibit A: Dan Shaughnessy. Whether it’s Theo Epstein (a “boy wonder” whose hand was “held” by Larry Lucchino during his “wonder years”), Pedro Martinez (“The Dominican Diva”), or even David Ortiz (whom he purportedly called a “giant sack of you-know-what” on TV before Big Papi had even taken a swing in a Red Sox uniform), the Shank takes evident glee in skewering this team and typifies the worst impulses of the bitter Boston sports fan. At least he can’t keep flogging that “Curse of the Bambino” crap.

Sort of a Shaughnessy-lite, Steve Silva, proprietor of BostonDirtDogs.com also traffics heavily in petty negativity. He exhorted fans last June to boo Martinez, perhaps the most transcendent pitcher ever to wear a Red Sox uniform, for defecting to the New York Mets. Interestingly, when Johnny Damon returned to Fenway in a Yankee uniform, he pleaded for people to cheer long and loud. Curious, that.

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  Topics: Lifestyle Features , Deval Patrick, Politics, Boston Redevelopment Authority,  More more >
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