Are you a retrosexual?

By DEIRDRE FULTON  |  January 22, 2009

She, um, elaborates: "Like, yeah, 'Look who's all grown up and hotter than you now, bitches, so why don't you shut the eff up and eat my pussy for the next three hours. Eff it . . . for the next three days. You've got a lot of making up to do for all those bj's in high school.' " (Forgive her, she's actually a very charming individual.)

And reconnecting with old lovers, ones who you shared time with later in life, can be even more fraught with confusion. Here's what happened with Callie and her former beau after their brief renaissance: "The insecurities that I linked with being with him, ones I thought I'd gotten over, re-emerged. The casual re-exploration began to beg the question: 'What are we doing, are we getting back together?' which led to hard talks and confusing wants. [A]s we spent more time together, the reasons we'd originally broken up became louder than the reasons we'd been together."

Still, upon reflection, Anne pinpoints the undeniable appeal of the retrosexual sex-perience.

"I don't regret the reunion," she adds. "It was a necessary final chapter. Impossible to resist for the combination of the new-ness and the familiarity."

Callie might not be a regretrosexual, but she could have been. Indeed, for every retrosexual fairy-tale ending (They exist! We have Facebook status-change evidence!), there's a regretrosexual one — which suggests that, even when it comes to love, very rarely can you go home again.

Deirdre Fulton has only retrosexed once. She can be reached atdfulton@phx.com.

< prev  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  | 
Related: Fretrosexuals, In your Facebook, Ridiculous and sublime, More more >
  Topics: Lifestyle Features , Internet, Science and Technology, Technology,  More more >
| More


Most Popular
ARTICLES BY DEIRDRE FULTON
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE  |  July 24, 2014
    When three theater companies, all within a one-hour drive of Portland, choose to present the same Shakespeare play on overlapping dates, you have to wonder what about that particular show resonates with this particular moment.
  •   NUMBER CRUNCHERS  |  July 23, 2014
    Maybe instead of devoting still-more resources to food reviews, Maine’s leading news organizations should spend money on keeping better tabs on Augusta.
  •   BLUESTOCKING FILM SERIES SHOWCASES WOMEN'S STORIES  |  July 16, 2014
    Among last year’s 100 top-grossing films, women represented just 15 percent of protagonists, and less than one-third of total characters.
  •   CHECKING IN: THE NEW GUARD AND THE WRITER'S HOTEL  |  July 11, 2014
    Former Mainer Shanna McNair started The New Guard, an independent, multi-genre literary review, in order to exalt the writer, no matter if that writer was well-established or just starting out.
  •   NO TAR SANDS  |  July 10, 2014
    “People’s feelings are clear...they don’t want to be known as the tar sands capitol of the United States."

 See all articles by: DEIRDRE FULTON