Marrying into history

By JILL BARKLEY  |  August 4, 2009

Most days, I wax and wane between being profoundly grateful and indignant. All of the grassroots work, the countless monetary donations, and the masses of volunteers pouring themselves into this movement toward marriage equality are things I will never find the words to be thankful enough for. However, I also remember that my father only had to ask my mother to marry him, my brother-in-law proposed just to my sister, but my partner and I have to first ask over 200,000 Mainers to vote No in November. More than 200,000 people who must understand that all we want is to have the same rights as everyone else, and think it's okay that we want to share a mortgage, own a dog, raise two kids, and celebrate wedding anniversaries until death do us part, if we should be so lucky in love.

A few years ago, I attended an engagement party where the theme was "Engage Us." At the time, I wondered why someone would need so many people involved in such at intimate decision. As November 3 approaches, I understand the concept in a much different way. I never thought I'd have to ask so many people for one woman's hand in marriage, but I will. Years from now, when marriage equality is legal in all 50 states and we are granted equal federal recognition of our unions, I hope this experience will be a history lesson for those who ask me about how my partner popped the question or who want to hear the story of our wedding day.

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  •   HO-HOS AND AIR GUITARS  |  August 04, 2009
    The fact is, most couples argue in the early stages of wedding planning. My partner, Diane, and I are no exception to this rule. Currently, our biggest argument surrounding plans for our wedding is whether or not she can slide into the ballroom during our reception, performing Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" on her air guitar.
  •   MARRYING INTO HISTORY  |  August 04, 2009
     remember the day Vermont legalized Civil Unions for same-sex couples. I was in college at the time and I remember thinking out loud that I could move there and get "Civil Union-ed" someday. It didn't sound the same as my previous dreams of getting "Married."

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